August
28 - Our friend Alfredo in San Antonio sent us an interesting article in
the
Austin-American Statesman.
The Texas Department of Transportation has stopped granting
new contracts to a Florida engineering company that has overcharged the state
and clients nationwide because of accounting irregularities.
......
The accounting improprieties had the effect of
increasing what is called an overhead rate, or multiplier, in the
construction industry. That multiplier is applied to base rates for
engineering and design services to determine billings to clients.
Officials with the agency could not say Monday how
much the state may have been overcharged. But Saenz, in a May 24 memo
to his chief engineers in the department's districts around the state,
said the overcharges had run from as early as 2000 to the present
"Accounting irregularities." Yeah, I'd say - the company's CFO, W. Scott DeLoach,
is going down for embezzling $36 million. To reduce his sentence, he's about to
reveal that the company reimbursed him and others for campaign contributions.
DeLoach gave $5,000 to ARMPAC.
So, when the rubber hits
the road, PBS&J stole money from Texans and used it to bribe DeLay.
Alfredo concludes, "Kinda
poetic, don't you think?"
Had enough yet? Not that I'm keeping count or
anything, but Tom Harrington of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma has yet to adopt a sign.
Tom, we're counting on you, Bub.
August
27 - I need to get me a bumper stickers that says, “Local Republicans
Made Me A Yellow Dog Democrat. Give Them Another Two Years and and They’ll Make
You One, Too.”
The perfume called Eau de
Arrogance in this county rises off the GOP like a strong whiff of cow pattie on
a humid day. They just can’t seem to get enough of your money, your misplaced
trust or your patience.
Some
folks have been pondering on County Judge
Bob Hebert’s Texas Two-Step on
whether or not he has judicial duties. First he said he did and then he
said he didn’t, but when direct written information was found
on the county site and on his
personal political website, his judging went from “Now In A Theater Near
You” to “Featured Attractions” in less time than it takes to pop the popcorn.
Even if ya held his bare
feet to parking lot asphalt at about 3:00 tomorrow afternoon, he probably
couldn’t tell ya the truth because he’s had to concoct so many stories to cover
his ample rump that keeping one on top of his thinking mechanism is hard to do.
Now, never mind that he
just copied the county website’s information into his own personal political
website even though somebody was paid county tax money to write it in the first
place. That’s just a small example of how this county is his, his I tell you!
It’s Bob Hebertville, dammit!
It’s easy to see how this
happened. Bob wanted to have judicial duties so he could prance around in a
judge’s robe, hit people with a gavel, and be addressed as Your Honor. But when
it comes to wanting to help his good-ole-boys, he can change clothes faster than
Superman in a doublewide phone booth. The currently operative story is that he’s
not a judge now but he will be one in January, so he'll start acting like a
judge in January.
What happens in January?
Are they gonna take him down to The Brazos River and dunk him in the holy
judicial waters of wisdom and integrity? Does he graduate law school? No,
siree. January is when he gets a courtroom. Oh for Pete’s Sake. (Do not buy
his nice little story about how he's saving the county money. There's far
more to this story that I'll tell you later.)
Hebert, like his co-heart
Republican white males, cannot admit to ever making a mistake. Endorsing
candidates was a mistake and a misuse of his office. But could he simply say
that and ask forgiveness? No. He. Cannot.
Let me give you another
little tiny, hardly even significant example of Hebert’s arrogance.
Take a look at his campaign finance report. He’s sitting on $120,000. of
tax-free money in a campaign warchest with no opponent. You’d think he could
spare $25 for a notary public to notarize his political campaign expense report
other than his own Executive Assistant, who works for the taxpayers, not Bob
Hebert or Bob Hebert’s campaign.
He’s not supposed to even
have these campaign finance forms in his county office. They were notarized on
a Monday – they day they were due. Does he care how that looks? Of course
not. He’s Bob Hebert and he helped make me a Democrat.
Coming soon - how Judge
Brady Elliott pushed me over the edge.
August
25 - He's still whining. Gee, ain't there a statewide limit
on whining? Tom DeLay seems incapable of admitting that he had even a
small, tiny, tee-weensy role in all this.
Dallas Morning News -----
Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay said he never thought the courts would
prevent the Republican Party from replacing him on the November ballot, a
Houston television station reported Thursday.
"I'm very disappointed in our justice system. There doesn't seem to be
justice," DeLay told KTRK-TV.
Justice? Did he say "justice"? I dunno. Taking money from
people for a political campaign that you full-well know you're not going to
spend for a political campaign doesn't seem like justice.
However, unless he's
lying again, there does appear to be good news ---
DeLay said he is helping with a book about his career and how the last 22
years of the country's history helped advance the conservative cause. He said
he will not become a lobbyist and will never again run for political office.
Nah, I wouldn't bet my best pair of pink boots on it.
August 24
- Our customer, Kathy, keeps us informed of the only place crazier than Fort
Bend County: Roseland, Indiana.
This week,
we're back in city council, where there was bloodshed and handcuffs and
antenna towers in cement and all manner of good government. The report
starts with --
ROSELAND — Blood was drawn Thursday at the Roseland Town
Council meeting.
It happened when Town Marshal Mike Howell arrested an 82-year-old man for
alleged disorderly conduct after he was ejected from the council meeting by
President Dorothy Snyder.
The skin on Louis Krueper Sr.’s arm near his wrist apparently was cut or torn
as Howell placed handcuffs on him.
And ends with ----
A few minutes earlier, Snyder had ordered Rosemary Penn to
leave after she said “amen” at the end of the Pledge of Allegiance.
You can't be saying Amen at the end of the pledge of allegiance! I think
that's in the Unites States Constitution. Or maybe it's Take Me Out To The
Ballgame that you can't say Amen after. I get the two confused.
I tried to get arrested
at a school board meeting here one time but they wouldn't take the bait.
They had passed a rule that you couldn't say anything "negative" about a school
board member when you spoke to the school board. I warned them that I was
a'comin' and I was gonna call them all names. They had a bunch of police
there and everything.
This is a true story.
So, anyway, they even
made you sign up and write down what you were going to say. I wrote a
recipe for cornbread on my card. No, really, I did. Then I stood up
and said, "You're a bunch of idiots if you think for one minute that you can
suppress free speech just because you're sitting at a bench that makes you think
you're on the Supreme Court."
They all looked at the
school board's lawyer. Well, all of them except my friend who was on the
school board and the sole vote against this no-negative policy. She put
her head on the table and shook with laughter. So did the lawyer.
They threw out the rule
at the next meeting.
I couldn't even get
arrested.
I need to move to
Roseland.
August 24
- There is some confusion about how a write-in candidacy
works.
So, here's the law in a Microsoft Word document.
Remember: you can
write-in anyone's name - it doesn't have to be one of the official write-in
candidates. You can write in any one of the 92 Shelleys who are registered
to vote in Fort Bend. Or any of the 54 Gibbs who vote in Fort Bend.
We only have 2 Sekulas and Shelley's not one of them, so that seems to be the
easiest route.
Or, you can write-in
Nader. It's worked so well for him before.
Bryan has some excellent examples of how to write-in Shelley.
Shelleyshelly-bo-belly-bananafana-fo-felley is my favorite.
August 24
- You know how sometimes you can't help but notice someone because they are
amusingly stoopid? I offer
Arizona Congressman Trent Franks.
As
GOP stalwarts try to distance themselves from former House Majority Leader Tom
DeLay, Arizona's Rep. Trent Franks has remained by his side.
The embattled DeLay spoke at a Franks fund-raiser on Capitol Hill in December.
Franks gave $4,200 to DeLay's re-election committee in March, nearly six
months after the then-Texas congressman was indicted by a grand jury on
money-laundering and conspiracy charges
No, wait, it gets better ....
"I know there will be criticism," Franks told The Arizona
Republic before attending the Washington fund-raiser. "But, you know,
sometimes loyalty to friends that you believe are being unfairly attacked is
still something to aspire to in this town."
Quick! Somebody tell Franks what Tom DeLay did to the Republican Party
right here in Fort Bend. Maybe he doesn't know that The Hammer turned into
The Screwdriver.
On second thought, don't.
You'd have to define "unfair" for him.
August 24 -
There's an editorial in today's
Houston
Chronicle about how silly it is that the Republicans like to refer to the
Democratic Party as the "Democrat Party."
Gretchen
Essell, a spokeswoman for the Republican Party of Texas, was more helpful.
Republicans use the term "Democrat Party," she said, "because it ticks them
[Democrats] off and because of their blatant disregard for the democratic
process."
Okay, so the first person who alerts the Chronicle that I've been calling the
Republicans "The Nincompoop Party" for the same reason will not be invited to
our next garter belt exchange party.
And if disregard for
process is to be considered, I'll have to change that to "The Fibbing Nincompoop
Party."
The Chronicle goes on to
say....
The GOP's
strategy of trying to deprive Democrats of their chosen party name and its
associations reflects and contributes to the incivility, malice and
misrepresentation that mark this era's partisan politics.
At least in this
case the voters will no longer be confused about the incorrect usage. The
practice isn't due to ignorance or indifference to correct usage. It's simply
bad manners.
Look Folks, the very last thing that concerns me about the Fibbing
Nincompoop Party is their bad manners. I don't mind that they chew with
their mouths open. What I mind is that they steal the food.
So, if there's an
editorial in the Chronicle tomorrow about me having bad manners for the whole
Nincompoop thing, please tell them that upon occasion my feet stink, too.
August
24 -
Muse and View from 22 are on
to something. It seems that our County Judge Bob Hebert (pronounced like a
man who's afraid of a T), has been violating the Judicial Canons of Ethics by
endorsing candidates.
Hebert, who is best known
for his greed and gastronomy, may try to contend that county judges are not real
judges. If that is true, please ask him why he requested that the real
judges allow him to hear probate matters.
He did. It's true. You
can check the Board of Judges meeting minutes. The reason he wanted to
hear probate matters? So he could be paid more money. The $105,000 a year
he makes now isn't enough.
Hebert is a real piece of work,
and good on Muse and View for knocking him upside the literary head.
August 23
- Our friend Deb wonders
what will Dallas plumbers wear now ---
A
city crackdown on saggy pants?
........
Mr. Price plans to address the council at today's meeting at 9 a.m. at City
Hall. He said he's fed up with people who walk the streets "with their pants
below their buttocks with their underwear exposed.”
Several council members backed the idea Tuesday, with Bill Blaydes declaring,
"It's an embarrassment to our city if we can't keep our pants up.”
Sign # 5 that people in Dallas don't have near enough to do in their
free time. I was in Dallas about a month ago and the only butts I saw were
actually serving on city council.
And from the "Oh Yeah,
Well You Could've Fooled Me" Department --- from the same article....
The Dallas school district already prohibits pants that droop below the
waistline. But Mr. Price – who's rumored to be considering a run for City
Council – said it's time for the issue to be addressed citywide, saying that
people shouldn't run around "like third-class citizens in a first-class city."
August 23 -
Would somebody please direct me to the next
Young
Republican meeting in the county? I have some forms here ....
August
23 - Please, I need help. I can't even find it in wikipedia.
Here's my question: in what even minor way is a political operative
anything at all like a "real" citizen? "Real" citizens don't have
cloven hoofs, you know.
The law that helped drive Tom DeLay
from the U.S. House and put two of his allies under criminal indictment can't
be understood by the "man in the street," defense lawyers argued Tuesday.
Lawyers for Jim Ellis and John Colyandro,
two DeLay lieutenants who operated the Texans for a Republican Majority
political action committee during the 2002 campaign, argued that the Texas 3rd
Court of Appeals should throw out the indictments against their clients
because the state's ban on corporate campaign money is confusing.
"It should be so clear that they know they
are violating the law," attorney Joe Turner said. "Real citizens can't look at
the law and understand it."
They also argued that the state's
money-laundering statute did not apply to checks at the time, just cash.
I guess the writ twits for these fellas don't understand that it's the job of a
political operative to know the campaign finance laws. After all, they
knew the laws well enough to laundry the money, duh.
Additionally, I don't
know about you, but as a "real" citizen I understand that checks are somewhat
like cash.
It's a good thing that
they're arguing this in front of a judge and not "real" citizens.
August
22 - Okay, so this starts out with Bob Barr, that creepy little Georgia
dude who was waaaay too concerned about Bill Clinton's hoochy-koochy life.
Yesterday,
Barr
endorsed the Libertarian Bob Smithers in the CD22 race, and the only
newspaper who thought that was news was the
Washington Times, the
newspaper owned by the crazy Moonies.
Now this whole thing
would have passed without much notice until former State Republican Executive
Committeeman for District 18, Michael Franks, has himself a full-fledged
terminal keyboard attack. I am reprinting what he sent out to his fellow
Republicans right here exactly as it was written. He included a link to
the Washington Times article.
Prepare yourself.
Republicans have used scare tactics for so long that the all-caps keys on their
keyboards are stuck in the full and upright locked position. Even words
like "doomed" aren't sufficient anymore, they have to have meaningful
punctuation and screaming behind them. Take a deep breath, calm yourself
and see what's happening in the GOP mind. Michael Franks hits the
keys in this manner .....
Congressman
Bob Barr, as we all remember, LEAD the impeachment of Bill Clinton!!!!
Let the man have a shot at it. ANY write in candidate is DOOMED
from our side. Royal Masset, Gary Polland, Jerry Patterson, Bobby Eberle and
almost EVERY political pundent, expert, and consultant anywhere in Texas and
the Nation KNOWS it's almost LUNACY to think we can win a write in, especially
if 2 or more write in's run anway, PLUS the Republican votes Bob Smither will
pull since he is the ONLY other name on the ballott that isn't "Liberal
Lampson"
We LOST the legal battle. We wont have a Republican candidate
on the ballott. We now need to move gears and be "Patriots" and not just
"party purist" and do what is BEST for our NATION to stop the Democrats from
gaining control. What general would lead their troops into a battle KNOWING
they would all be slaughtered? They would pull back as Sam Houston did, and
live to fight another day. If we KNOW we can't win. It is lunacy to
waste time trying to do so.
ALLLL that energy and $$ and effort could BETTER go to races
where we can win like State Rep HEFLIN. He has a shot. A write in for
Congress does not. Smither is our only legitimate shot.
Michael Franks
Former SREC SD18
So the Republican Party is going to pour $3 million on this fire? Oh cool.
I don't know about you,
but I need me one of those political pundent jobs. And, I'll betcha that
Sam Houston could spell ballot.
August 22 -
A friend in Brazoria County tells me ...
Just wanted to let you know that I received a call
tonight--an automated poll which asked only 3 questions:
1. Do you believe the country is headed in the right
direction (1 for yes, 2 for no)?
2. If the election were held today, (1 for Shelly, 2 for
Nick)?
3. Are you male (press 1) or female (press 2)?
Very interesting...I'm not very up on how and why these
polls are done, but I'm guessing it is the GOP doing this to see where they
are at in the polls.
I have very smart friends. Shelley is trying to see whether having George
"Camus Reader" Bush campaign for her in the district will help or hurt.
And, she's trying to see if Security Moms are now more concerned about health
care, education, and needing a draft to fulfill our military commitments than
they are about being toyed with over the terror level.
You won't have to guess
at the results of this poll because we either see George Bush here in a week or
we don't.
August
22 -
Interesting in today's Chronicle:
Citing his desire to support the
Republican Party in its difficult write-in campaign to hold the congressional
seat vacated by Tom DeLay, Sugar Land Mayor David Wallace withdrew from the
race Monday.
The move leaves Houston Councilwoman
Shelley Sekula-Gibbs as the sole Republican write-in candidate — a
condition, Wallace said, for $3 million in campaign funding from the national
GOP.
Okay, here's the deal. The day the total $3 million arrives here, I'll
throw in an extra fifty buck American after-taxes money of my own because I
think the GOP is fibbing again.
It would be nuts to throw
$3 million dollars into a write-in race when Bonilla's seat is on the line.
Okay, wait. Let me re-group here. After all, this is the political
party that is spending us into collapse in Iraq while our ports are not secure
and we have gridlock trying to get out of the path of a killer hurricane.
Okay, so maybe they will send $3 million here.
I still think that
putting a condition on Wallace's withdrawal is illegal. And, I'm wondering
if Wallace said that on purpose to undermine the Sekula-Gibbs candidacy.
August 20
- Here's a paragraph from Wallace's press release today.
If he didn't cross the line of Kaisner v. State, he sure edged up close enough
for some stench to get on him.
The whole press release (He adores
himself!) and pictures are coming.
Visit
Fort Bend Now for in-depth coverage and
View from 22 for a discussion of
Kaisner v. State.
Now would be a REAL good
time to ADOPT A SIGN.
August 20
- David Wallace is withdrawing. He says that the GOP in Washington is
promising to send $3 million if there's only 1 candidate. CORRECTION:
He only said "Washington." That means K-Street. More tainted money
headed this way.
August 20
- The Cane Room? Oooohhhhhh, this is more serious than I thought.
Media Advisory:
SUGAR LAND Mayor David Wallace will be holding a press
conference on Monday, August 21, 2006, at 1:30 p.m. in the Cane room at Sugar
Land City Hall. Mayor Wallace will be making an announcement regarding the
direction of his congressional campaign and will be available to speak with
the media immediately following the press conference.
Since Wallace sent protestors down to Pearland, I guess he's worried that maybe
turn-about really is fair play.
August 20
- I wonder who is bringing the bullhorns? David Wallace is making an
announcement on the steps of
Sugar Land City Hall this afternoon at 1:30.
The World's Most
Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. will be sending our senior political war
correspondent, Bubba Hank Janochek. Bubba Hank was at the last press
conference on the step of Sugar Land city hall and those
Christian Coalition people tried
to kill him.
Since Bubba Hank is a
passivist except during deer season, he won't be bringing any weapons himself,
but through some contacts he has in the military, he has asked for a Navy
cruiser to be stationed in the fountain out front of city hall just in case
those Christian Coalition soldiers get all up and slapping people around again.
So, we'll have breaking
news on it here and photos to follow as soon as Bubba Hank gets his rump back
here.
By the way, if Christian
Coalition Mother of All Things Sexual or Progressive Terese Raia is there, tell
her that
I
just love her new website.
August
20 - The Fort Worth
Star Telegram still has former Fort Bend GOP Chairman Eric Thode's phone
number. When asked if it's possible that a Democrat could win Tom DeLay's
seat, Thode says ...
"No question it's possible," said Thode,
GOP chairman in DeLay's home county until a few months ago. "I would hope that
any logical thinking Republican will realize where the blame lies. The blame
lies with Tom DeLay."
You know how you can spot a Republican in Fort Bend County? Very buff
pointing finger - gets lots of exercise.
Thode claims to Texas
Monthly that he knew back in January that DeLay was going to withdraw after the
primary. Thode kept the secret, and then spent a truckload of GOP party
money to help his friend, David Wallace.
Which brings us to -----
Rumor has it that Million
Dollar Dave Wallace is holding a press conference on the steps of Sugar Land
City Hall tomorrow afternoon to make an announcement. Hummmm .... I wonder
if we should send Marsha Rovai
with a bullhorn?
Remember Folks:
Republican DA John Healey won't even file misdemeanor charges if you disrupt
something in Sugar Land. (More to come.)
Rumor also has it that Terese
Raia is going to protest David's announcement by doing a fly-over on her broom.
August 19
- Okay, this is what I would tell David Wallace if I were his political
consultant which, of course, I ain’t.
You’ve got nothing to
loose, Dude.
You’ve already hacked off
more people than we can keep count of. I mean, there are three counties in CD22
who think you’ve dug yourself in a hole so deep that you can hear Chinese people
talking on the other end.
If you walk away now, you
better be carrying a suitcase full of hundred dollar bills because everyone will
think you did. If you walk away now, nobody will ever forget that you backed
down from a fight because “a girl” (see
Hebert) whipped you.
If you walk away now, you
can kiss your political future goodbye, no matter what the Republican Party
insiders say, because it’s gut-check time, Bubba. You walk away now and Brian
Gaston looks like Dirty Harry.
You better roll the dice
because then you’ve got a chance to show what you’re really made of. By
beating Sekula-Gibbs in the write-in vote category, you command respect in two
years because you did it on your own – without “the party” backing. Neither one
of you can win the race. But, you’re jockeying for a place on the ballot in two
years and everybody knows that.
In short, you don’t have
to beat Lampson, you just have to beat Sekula Gibbs and the primary is yours in
two years. You wave goodbye now and you’re toast for at least a decade.
Like I said, I’m not a
political advisor and I don’t have a degree in political science or anything.
However, this is certainly better advice than you’ve been getting so far.
And my advice is free. You can't beat that with a beat-a-tronic beating
machine set on high during beat week with a beat master at the controls.
August 19 -
The snarkiest comment ever on an internet forum. #42.
Dr. Sekula-Gibbs is
extremely qualified.
From her website:
“She has published and lectured on topics including skin cancer, smoking,
dangers in tanning beds and nail salons, infection control, Tourette syndrome
and the effects of emotion on the skin.”
These are important
issues that need to be addressed in our district.
Whoever "I Like Pie" is - you get a free haircut at The World's Most Dangerous
Beauty Salon, Inc. A crowd at my house tonight just cracked up over it.
(For those of you who
don't know what "I like pie," means, I'm sure that your kids will tell you.
It's not dirty or anything.)
August
19 - I'm not saying that the Republican National Committee has David
Wallace tied up and they are torturing him to force him to withdraw, but he
couldn't even return phone calls yesterday and that is oh so unlike Million
Dollar Dave.
The
Houston
Chronicle reports ---
Sekula-Gibbs
may not be the lone Republican write-in candidate. Sugar Land Mayor David
Wallace, who earlier said he would run as a write-in candidate even if the
party endorsed someone else, is "considering his options," said Fort Bend
County Republican Chairman Gary Gillen.
"Considering his options..." Hummmm. Option #1: Get
off the write-in ticket and we'll let you have your first born back. Option #2: Stay on the write-in ticket and we'll drop you buck nakkid in
Baghdad with "Everything is Sweeter In Sugar Land" tattooed on your butt.
Choices, choices,
choices.
August
18 -
In the Fox News
interview below, David Wallace says there are 4 cases in America where write-ins
won Congressional elections. He’s right. Let us take a little peeky at them.
Joe Skeen,
1980
This is the one people mention most. Yes, Skeen won with 38% of the vote,
against another write-in candidate, the widow of the deceased Democratic
candidate. The only person on the ballot was a very unpopular replacement
candidate, who was the Governor’s nephew.
Strom Thurmand
- 1954 and Dale Alford - 1958
Both ugly, segregationist campaigns against courageous
anti-segregationist opponents. I hardly think Mr. Wallace wants to be compared
to these folks. I dunno, I could be wrong about that.
And then there’s
Ron Packard -
1982. A
quarter century ago in a heavily GOP southern California district, token
Democratic opposition was outspent, in total, by well over 100 to 1. A
contentious GOP primary left a grudge match between two well known Republicans
and an unknown Democrat. Packard, to get voters to write-in, outspent his
opponent 100 to 1. Unless
Million Dollar Dave plans on raising $300 million in the next 2 months, he
might want to reconsider this plan. Also, this was still in the pencil and
paper era. Dave can’t be handing out dials at the polls.
Now that ain’t all that Million Dollar Dave got wrong in the interview, but it’s
Friday night and I've got a party waiting on me.
August 18
- Okay, so the way this is being explained to me is that the Republican
National Committee has promised to pump $3 million into the CD22 race ONLY IF
David Wallace will drop out.
I have sad news for the
RNC: You cannot put a price tag on ego. I don't care if you said $10
million or maybe a gazillion and a dime, Wallace's ego won't let it happen.
Babe, if you could harness the ego-power on his
endorsement list
alone, you could shut down the Middle East.
Dangling $3 million is
almost an insult. I mean, the man's been on Fox News spelling his name out
and smiling like he's at recess in heaven. Ya ain't bringing him back down
to reality after that.
Now I know for you
RNC guys that Ole Dave's about one store-bought ta-ta away from being as big an
embarrassment as Katherine Harris, but you guys need to know something - Dave's
middle name ain't "self-sacrifice" or "play fair."
I'm sorry that I had to be the one to tell you RNC guys that - it's gotta hurt.
But, Dude, David Wallace would gnaw off his arm before he'd fall in the $3
million trap.
Okay, through my high-level big-time professional journalism abilities, I have
obtained a copy of David Wallace's
interview on Fox. He's obviously not a morning person because he's
confused about several issues. But, I just wanted you to see his great
hair.
August 18 -
Okay, so our local GOP made the funny pages --
August
18 - Okay, I'm up. I'm up. Quit hollering. They came
to a conclusion and white smoke came out of the baptistery. It's Pope Shelley
Sekula-Gibbs.
The Pearland Group picked
Shelley Sekula-Gibbs. The Pecan Grove Group picked a fair parade float.
And the other 99.9% of the people in CD22 picked doing something meaningful by
not attending either meeting.
Fort Bend GOP Party Chair
Gary Gillen - who was at the Pecan Grove secret meeeting - whined about the new
by-laws for the party. Tom DeLay - who was at the Pearland secret meeting
- whined about judges.
The coolest thing I heard
all night, except that Tom DeLay showed up at the Pearland meeting and they
didn't stone him - I mean, you gotta admit that's pretty noteworthy - was that
David Wallace sent a dozen "protestors" down to Pearland to walk around with his
signs and sing Kumbaya or Michael Row the Boat Ashore or something.
Okay, so I made up the
hippie song singing and I suspect that no one burned their bra or anything but
Wallace is sure big on this protest stuff. But, hey, as long as they're
not sending Ken Dexter to whack me, I'm perfectly willing to watch them walk in
circles. The CD22 seems pretty darned good at going in circles.
The local GOPpers are saying that the National GOP has promised to send 2 to 3
million (or sometimes 4 million depending on the size of the speaker's .... uh,
mouth) to this race right here in CD22.
I think that's kinda like
David Wallace's "one million dollars" - just a bark and no bite. However,
it does show you that the Republicans think they can buy a race.
I'm sure the check's in
the mail.
August 17 too darn late at night for me to be doing this stuff because I do have
a real life, you know -
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
Contact: Allen Blakemore
Thursday, August 17, 2006
713-526-3399
Bettencourt Statement on CD-22
HOUSTON - In advance of tonight's Congressional District 22 meeting called by
Republican State Party Chairman Tina Benkeiser, Paul Bettencourt issued the
following statement:
"I want to make clear that I am neither a write-in candidate nor a prospective
one despite the well-intentioned draft movement within the Party."
Okay, I'm calling it quits tonight. I sleep late, so head on over to
Bob Dunn's in the morning until I get
up. And don't be sending me no whining emails because you want your news
and I'm not up. Especially you, Connie Wilderman of Spokane who has yet to
adopt a sign.
August 17 -
At lunch today something else interesting was pointed out to me about the Rovai
case
being no-billed by the Grand Jury.
Fort Bend County District Attorney John
Healey said Wednesday that Assistant District Attorney Felipe Rendon presented
the case to the grand jury, and that First Assistant DA Fred Felcman
and Healey himself assisted in the presentment. (emphasis mine for a damn good
reason)
Now go here and see who is the
Republican Precinct
Chairman of Precinct 1016. Or don't bother because you know who it is
- Fred Felcman.
If any case ever called
for a special prosecutor, this was it.
----- and there's still more to come ----
August
17 - As if the local GOP didn't already have enough problems with secret
meetings and the good ole boys doing favors for each other, there's a whole 'nother
front adding to the bad score.
Remember the "wrecking"
of the Nick Lampson press conference by the local GOP and Tom DeLay supporters?
I told you a couple days ago that Republican District
Attorney John Healey personally took the case to the Grand Jury and got a
no-bill, making whacking old women fair game as long as they are Democrats.
I promised more.
Here comes some more ----
The "Tribute
to Tom DeLay" appreciation dinner held last month at the Marriott Hotel in
Sugar Land. John Healey was there - even posing for pictures!
Now if I did all this right, you should be able to click on the picture and see
it full-sized. John is proudly posing with his friend Marilyn Glover.
You would think that a
District Attorney with a case pending in his office against Tom DeLay supporters
would be extra-special careful to avoid the appearance of impropriety weeks
before he personally takes a case to the grand jury - something he does about as
often as Haley's comet appears. That's what you'd think and you'd think
wrong because this is the Fort Bend GOP.
---- but there's even more to come ----
August
16 - Darn, I wish hypocrisy was painful! Here's Fort Bend GOP
Party Chairman Gary Gillen blasting the other 3
counties in CD 22 while secretly plotting his own secret meeting.
Oops, I'm getting dizzy!
(Gillen may be in
violation of the Texas Open Meetings Act from the items that have been rumored
to be on the agenda.)
Couple Gillen's snotty
comments with David Wallace calling the other counties
Commies, and you've got two fellas who won't stand a three legged dog's
chance at the greyhound park come two years from now.
They spreading all their
manure on Republicans while Nick Lampson got endorsements from three police
organizations today.
Hey Gary and David -
you're using up all the stupid!
August 16
- You know, I've seen bushel baskets of wire coathangers in less mess than
the CD22 GOP.
Now Gary Gillen, the Fort
Bend County Chair (and David Wallace rah-rah cheerleader)
is
calling for a boycott of the secret closed-door meeting in Pearland with a
secret closed-door meeting of his own at the country club.
Gillen drafted a
letter Wednesday to potential candidates, saying state party officials had
organized Republicans in a "secret exclusionary process that only reinforces
the perception of a back room deal and the perception that we have something
to hide."
He said the
closed meeting "makes a mockery of our party, the democratic process and
should be avoided at all cost."
Gillen has called a meeting of the Fort Bend GOP party bosses the same night and
it's by invitation only, too.
See what
I mean. The God Squad is meeting at the church. The Greed Guys
are at the Country Club and the LIDs are too disorganized to show up at either
place.
And, the Chronicle
article got everybody's first name wrong. Gary Gillen, Dean
Hrbacek, and Paul Bettencourt.
August 16
- Heads-Up! If you go to the
Texas
Secretary of State's website to check who's running for what, you will find
that two people have filed as write-in candidates for CD22 - David Wallace and
Don Richardson.
Who the hell is Don
Richardson?
Anybody?
A customer fills us in ---
Juanita,
Maj. Don Richardson filed with the FEC quite some time ago
but failed to designate a party. He has already come to the attention of
the FEC for failure to file a July 15 report. Kristen Mack at the Chron
keeps mentioning him so maybe she knows something the rest of us don't.
Enna
August 16
- Sam from Pearland sends us an interesting email about The First Baptist
Church of Pearland. Check Email from Hell.
August 16 -
Remember Bobby Eberle, GOP USA owner? The guy who gave gay male prostitute
Jeff Gannon press credentials to get into the White House press room? The
guy who cried on stage when he wasn't elected Vice-Chairman of the Texas GOP?
Don't tell me that you've forgotten Bobby
Eberle!
Well, Bobby has a new column for his website called, "The
Loft." No, I'm serious now - wipe that grin off your face.
Bobby thinks that Nick
Lampson is a liberal, and is first cousins to Nancy Pelosi or something. I
don't think Bobby is getting enough air up there in the loft.
However, he blames party
leaders - ouch! - for the DeLay "fiasco."
The congressional seat of former Majority
Leader Tom DeLay is now in jeopardy thanks in part to a failure in leadership
from party officials.
Go, Bobby, Go! Stir that pot! Keep everybody mad at each other,
pointing fingers. Atta Boy!
August
16 - Well, we're back in the
New York Times thanks to our local Republicans. And Dave
Wallace sends his regrets. Again. His campaign strategy appears to
be "Duck!"
SUGAR LAND, Tex., Aug. 15 — With dwindling
hopes of keeping
Tom DeLay’s
longtime House seat from falling to a Democrat in November,
Texas
Republicans
on Tuesday called an urgent meeting for Thursday to exercise their only
option: agreeing on a write-in candidate.
But that slender prospect — no such
write-in campaign has succeeded in the state — seemed to suffer a blow when a
leading candidate facing party opposition disparaged the meeting, saying “that
may have worked in Moscow,” and vowed to keep running even if it meant two
Republican write-in candidates.
“I’m in the race and I’m in it to win,”
said the candidate, David G. Wallace, the part-time mayor of this booming
Houston suburb named for its onetime Imperial sugar factory. He said he might
be too busy campaigning to attend the meeting.”
Let me make it perfectly clear that I have no problem at all with the
Republicans having this meeting at a church. After all, this is the same
political party who used to have their Christmas party at a bank. (I'm not
kidding. Look it up. Southern National Bank on Hwy 59))
If anybody needs the
influence of Sweet Jesus on their hateful, mean, back-biting, lying behavior,
it's these people. I'm glad they're at a church. I have no problem
with that.
Where I do have a problem
is that they're gonna lock the door. Honey, the District 22 GOP has spent
more time behind locked doors than Jeffrey Dahmer.
And, I do have one
question about the church thing, though. What if Jesus comes while they're
locked in there? Does Jesus know the secret knock?
August 15
- Republican District Attorney John Healey personally took
Marsha Rovai's case to the
Grand Jury this week and got a no-bill. It's open season on Democrats in
Sugar Land now. Any citizen is free to plot to disrupt and injure any
Democratic gathering with impunity. In fact, John Healey may even give you
a medal for it -- if Bob "Swift Boat" Perry tells him to.
----- more to come
August 15 -
With our local GOP, there are three distinct groups – The God Squad, the
Libertarians in Disguise, and the Greed Guys. They fight like cats, dogs, and
….. well, let’s be honest about this … hogs.
They make strained
temporary coalitions in order to get anything done. For example, Tom DeLay was
a Greed Guy but he pretended to be in the God Squad so he could tax and spend
and still get re-elected even though the LIDs (Libertarians in Disguise)
detested him.
So, the meeting this
Thursday night will be split three ways.
Those who want Shelley
Sekula-Gibbs will the God Squad. They aren’t sold on Sekula-Gibbs (especially
after that Sex on the Beach thing) but they want anybody other than David
Wallace, and Crazy Robert Talton won’t resign his State Rep job for a gamble
with these lousy odds. So, it’s Sekula-Gibbs by default. They might make a
last-minute push for Commissioner Andy Meyers. That would be like the coolest
thing that’s ever happened to me in the past 15 years.
There’s the Greed Guys
and David Wallace is their one hot dude! They are all white. They are male.
They will steal the gold out of Grandma’s teeth and most of their religion is in
their wife’s names. They pray to Dick Cheney.
And, finally, there are
the LIDs. Look, we all read Ayn Rand in the 10th grade but most of
us got over it. They didn’t. They are people with no social skills, bless
their hearts, and are noticeable by their inability to laugh at themselves.
They believe in their inalienable right to own an atomic weapon and not to fret
too much over child pornography.
(There’s a visual way to
tell these groups apart by their hair. No, I’m serious. I’ll let you know when
I collect enough pictures to make my point.)
I predict that Thursday
night will make Lord of the Flies look like a humor novel. I heard a friend
complaining that we can’t go to the meeting. I consider that a blessing.
Pearland is just Galena Park with one less adult book store. I don't want
to go to Pearland. Plus, I'm scared of that whole lightening thing while
they're in a church thinking evil thoughts about each other.
August
15 - I've figured out a way for the Republicans to win the Congressional
22 race without a write-in. Aren't you proud?
You can now buy voting machine parts on Ebay!
This is so cool.
Their Republican county
judge, Bob "Boom Boom" Hebert, shoved through some rotten no paper trail voting
machines at great expense to the American taxpayers. Outside of the fact
that nobody trusts these machines, there's the added problem that writing-in is
darn near impossible on them.
So, they could get the
Belles of Heaven Republican Women's Club to spend all their free time on Ebay
looking for voting machine parts to build some special new write-in machines.
Since the Belles spend
lotsa time on the Internets looking for filth and smut anyway, it's really not
asking a lot.
By the way, I heard the
Boom-Boom Hebert nickname up at Luby's last night - where all the good gossip
is. I'll explain it to your foreigners later when I have time.
August 14
-
Fort Bend Now scoops everybody!
State and local Republican Party officials will hold a “gathering” at 7:30
p.m. Thursday at First Baptist Church of Pearland to discuss throwing support
behind a single GOP write-in candidate for Congressional District 22.
Party sources said the event is not an official meeting of the party – yet it
won’t be open to the public or the press. Precinct chairs within CD-22, GOP
chairmen and their staffs from Fort Bend, Harris, Galveston and Brazoria
counties will be invited.
So, it's another closed-door meeting. Why am I not surprised?
Does Crazy Bob Talton get to bring the cookies? Will Shelley have her
Sex on the Beach staff? Will David bring "David-Water - Purer than the
Baptismal Font"? Will Terese kiss and make-up to Pat Hebert? Will
Catholics go into a Baptist Church?
The GOP Soap Opera:
DeLays of Our Life.
August 14
- Good Lord, Republican candidates are dropping like flies. Just heard
a rumor from Austin that Ben Bentzin is dropping out of the House District 48
race. Bentzin blamed negative campaigning - like mentioning the fact that
he was tight with John Colyandro.
If David Wallace hurries fast enough, he can probably be a write-in for that
one, too.
It's confirmed. Donna Howard will only have a Looneytarian opponent.
August 14 -
One of our local bloggers,
Fred, has something pretty danged funny today.
Amicus wackos - that's funny.
August
14 - Harvey Kronberg’s
Quorum Report is the definitive source for Texas politics. Everybody who’s
anybody gladly pays their $275 a year subscription fee to have the inside
information on what’s going on in Texas politics. I’ve paid mine for four years
and it’s the best money I spend. Okay, so now that I think about it, maybe the
second best.
When the Quorum Report
needs information about our Congressional district for the daily Newsclips
section, they rely on the best news source in the county, Fort Bend Now. I know
this looks like a plug for my friend Bob Dunn, and it is. However, it’s a
tribute to solid, factual reporting and highly insightful editorials that Harvey
Kronberg recognizes Fort Bend Now as authoritative. You should, too.
Local businesses should
jump-in on the ground floor for advertising because Fort Bend Now is only going
to get more popular as the political season nears November.
But, I have another
reason to bring all this up.
On one of the comment sections, an article I wrote for the newspaper years
ago is linked to. I was call-my-Momma-and-tell-her proud that someone called my
website “anti-Republican, hate DeLay and any Christian Conservative (Right wing
religious nut or ultra right wing peron).” In case you can’t squint real good
and look into your computer screen and see me, I’m taking a bow right now even
thought I don’t know what a “peron” is.
(By the way, the “Susan”
commenting on Fort Bend Now website is not me.)
I took it all in good
nature until somebody had the unwise thought to suggest that maybe something I
wrote wasn’t 100% accurate and true.
I wrote this story about Charlie Howard and it’s pretty darned funny, but
most importantly, it’s absolutely true. Although the story was written in 1998,
nothing has changed in the Republican Party. Republican wimmen still can’t win
a contested election against a man and Charlie Howard still patronizes every
woman on the planet.
When I called Charlie
about his comments back then, he denied them at first. Then I played him the
tape of his comments from the meeting. He was more concerned about where I got
the tape than he was about the fact that he lied in front of me and Jesus was
listening.
I still have that tape
just in case Charlie ever wants to deny it in public. Or wants to run for
Congress.
August
13 - Ultra-conservative Bob "Swiftboat" Perry is already
peddling political smut in South Texas, so expect his poli-porn to erupt
here soon, being as how Perry's tighter than skin on a sausage with both David
Wallace and Shelley Sekula-Gibbs.
Juan Garcia
is an American hero and a candidate for the Texas House in the Corpus Christi
area. So, Bob Perry crawls in under cover of darkness with $10,000 to
trash Juan Garcia and benefit Perry's friend rightwing nutcase
Gene Seaman.
Coming soon to a
Congressional race near you - Poli-Porn, the use of lies, distortion, and hate
funded by the Christian right to elect rightwing candidates who will bring on
Armageddon for them.
August 12 -
I have a little weekend treat for those of you who never felt like they really
got to say good-bye to Tom DeLay - his campaign phone is still hooked up to an
answering machine. Dial 281-343-1333 and leave a sweet good-bye message.
No threats or dirty talk, guys - my Momma is in the same country as you are.
(Thanks to
Muse and the Fort Bend phone
bankers for the information!)
August
12 - Oh crapola -
the
sky really IS falling since County Judge
Bob Hebert endorsed David Wallace for the write-in candidate to replace Tom
DeLay.
I knew this was going to
happen!
No, think about it.
The time the sky fell was almost perfectly aligned with the time that Hebert
made his deal with Wallace. Plus, the sky fell less than a mile from
Hebert's courthouse office. Coincidence?
Let this be a warning to
both Wallace and Hebert:
"It was extremely heavy - very dense,"
Moore said. "It had two holes in it. Obviously, it had been bolted to
something, somewhere."
Two holes where two screws used to go? Coincidence? Yeah, right.
Well, at least we know
where the two loose screws are.
August
11 - Reason # 679 why I can't be a Republican: Girls and men.
During our last primary
election in the county, every female contested Republican candidate got
beat. All of them. (Every contested minority got beat, too, but
that's another story.) A message was sent loud and clear that Republican
females can bake the cookies, carry the water, birth them babies, and even run
the campaign headquarters, but there's no seat for them at the power table.
Poor Houston City
Councilwoman Shelley Sekula-Gibbs didn't know that. She doesn't live in
this county. She didn't know that being a grown woman and a medical doctor gets
her no respect 'round here.
Our
county judge, Bob Hebert, said this of her while endorsing Sugar Land Mayor
David Wallace for the write-in candidate against DeLay ---
“She’s a solid campaigner,” Hebert
said of Sekula-Gibbs. “If she were a Fort Bend County girl and Wallace was in
Harris County, I’d be comfortable with her.”
Girl? Did he say "girl?" That's Dr. Girl to you, Hebert.
Additionally, leave it to
Hebert to hack-off the other three counties involved by supporting an idiot just
because he's from Fort Bend.
One more thing.
Hebert claims that the district is "62% to 63% Republican in a straight-up
race." Okay, remember when Hebert went to the fat farm and lost all that
weight a couple of months ago? Well, it's my theory that he didn't lose
weight. He went fishing, pulled those numbers out of his butt and just
told everybody he'd lost weight.
Bob Hebert, listen up
- is the Democratic National Committee paying you to talk?
August
10 - Let the games begin. Here is Sugar Land Mayor
David Wallace's personal financial statement
ordered fresh this morning and hot off the scanner. Play nice, now.
First off, the way I read
his report, it's about four weeks past due. Wallace hit the
$5,000 trigger to
make a report mandatory no later than May 4th. The Jenkins & Gilchrist PAC gave
him just under $5,000 on April 28th and he loaned his campaign $30,000 on May
4th. His
personal financial disclosure form was due 30 days later, on June 3rd.
He filed it on June 30th, 27 days late. That should have meant a $200
penalty.
You know, if you're
trying to take Tom DeLay's place, the last thing you want to do is to be in
violation of Ethic Committee rules first thing out of the chute.
And you gotta ask
yourself something: If Wallace's fancy-pants writ twits could find time to
file an amicus brief and find time to
file with the FEC to not count their brief as an in-kind donation, you'd
think they'd have time to file his financial report.
August 10
- Okay, most of you have heard by now that the tentative title for
the book Tom DeLay is writing about himself is the totally delusional No
Retreat, No Surrender: The American Passion of Tom DeLay, or it's shorter
working title, The Passion of the Tom.
(Okay, so I made-up the
second part. But, you can't blame me for that. You would have done
it, too.)
August 10
- The National Review has a whopper of a story about
Tom DeLay and why he withdrew.
Stick with me until the
end because this gets better and better.
First off, we now know
who ran that poll a week ago in the District. Most Republicans thought the
Democrats did it, but --- sure 'nuf, it was Tom.
..... DeLay had to make a decision of his
own. And that is when, last week, he took another poll. “It showed that
nothing had changed since I made the decision right after the primary,” DeLay
told me. “My negatives were still high. The polling showed that I probably had
a 50-50 chance.”
DeLay makes no bones that he quit not because he moved, but because he was going
to get whooped.
Not long after the primary, DeLay
commissioned a poll that showed his standing in
his district had deteriorated significantly. “The poll showed, basically, that
I had a 50-50 chance of winning,” he said. So DeLay began to contemplate
leaving the race.
And he's still blaming the courts, which I'm sure has Justice Scalia doing
backflips ---
“You can always count on the judiciary to make stupid
rulings,” DeLay told me. “Not only stupid, but dangerous.”
He's not so certain that a write-in can win, calling it only "doable" and
backing off when asked directly.
“Doable” is not the most optimistic assessment one might
make, so I asked if DeLay is confident that a Republican will be elected. “No,
I didn’t say that,” he told me. “I said that people in the 22nd District
deserve a choice.”
But best of all was the announcement of his book
title:
So now, after this week’s decision, DeLay is finally past
the House. He’s working on a number of projects, chief of which is a book that
will be part memoir, part prescription for what ails contemporary
conservatism. Tentatively titled No Retreat, No Surrender: The American
Passion of Tom DeLay, it will be out sometime next year.
Obviously, he's completely lost touch with reality while holed-up in
his Sugar Land cave not even answering the door or coming to the phone.
No Retreat? No
Surrender? What the fool tarnation does the man think he did yesterday?
Maybe he hopes to
sell the book on the Passion of Tom DeLay part - all those steamy hot tub
scenes.
One another note, if Tom DeLay showed those poll results to his buddy David
Wallace or any other potential candidate, they have to show it as an in-kind
contribution. Heads-up, FEC watchers!
August 10 -
As usual, Ben Sargent gets it right --
And Nick Anderson recalls all the GOP whining
over Albuquerque
August
10 - You know that secret meeting at the undisclosed location yesterday
to select the backroom deal candidate for the Republican write-in candidate?
Tom DeLay was there. Oh, cool. They're gonna let Tom pick the
write-in candidate. I suspect that Jack Abramoff picked up the lunch check
and Bob Ney left the tip. But,
Robert Talton brought the cookies.
And now the Republican Head Honchos are talking
about dropping both Sekula-Gibbs and Wallace in favor of Paul Bettencourt.
The addition of Bettencourt officially makes it a three ring circus.
For you folks from foreign states, the
Houston
Chronicle de-clawed the hammer this morning.
August 9 -
About the only other thing I need to make my life about an inch from prefect
would be for Commissioner Greed
- Andy Meyers to enter the race as a write-in.
I was thinking about
hinting loudly to Andy that maybe he could use the Congressional race to fund
his wife's car. You know, list it as the Assistant Campaign Manager's
Campaign car.
And then, to make things
even more fun, we could watch them fight over which one hates
Nooky's Bakery the most.
Help me, Andy Meyers.
You're our only hope.
August 9 -
Oh goodie - via Kuff we discover that
Shelley Sekula-Gibbs is also entering the race as a write-in.
August 9 -
It's official!
The Republicans
have just scraped the bottom of the barrel.
Sugar Land
Mayor David Wallace will be a write-in candidate for the seat House Majority
Leader Tom DeLay abandoned, according to a member of Wallace's campaign team.
Thank you, Ms. Genie - that was my third wish!
He won't be able to raise
money for a write-in race, his ethics become the issue, and he goes into the
2008 race as a looser.
OH NO!
Sit your rump down because you're not going to
believe this.
David Wallace made
his announcement to run as a write-in while the selection committee (see below)
was still meeting. I'm not kidding --- he by-passed the entire process and
named himself KING while everyone else was waiting patiently.
What a complete jerk.
And it looks like the
DCCC was chompin'
at the bit for this one.. And, from what I understand, those are some
of the nicest things that Wallace has done.
August 9 -
You'd think they wouldn't be flapping their lips over backroom deals, but
Republicans have gotten so used to it that it's become the normal course of
governing.
In talking about selecting a write-in candidate, Harris County Selector
Kathy Haigler says ---
Nevertheless, that’s where the GOP is headed. Local party
officials said Texas GOP Chairman Tina Benkiser has called a meeting of local
party leaders – presumably State Republican Executive Committee members – at
an undisclosed area location at 11 a.m.
“We need to have a
meeting of the leadership and get people together and come out with who we’re
willing to support,” Kathy Haigler, a Harris County GOP precinct chair and
SREC member. “You keep the door locked until you come out with one name.
Undisclosed location? Ring! Ring! "Hey, Kathy, it's Dick
Cheney on line one and he's sooo hacked at you."
And when backroom deals
don't work, you rely on that time-proven GOP method of getting things done -
vicious personal threats.
It’s possible the
precinct chairs would be asked to vote for one candidate, “and you tell anyone
else if they run” as a write-in, “they’ll be blackballed forever” in future
races by the Republican Party, Haigler said.
Hey, lighten up, Girl. I've been blackballed forever from the Republican
party and I've been a much happier person ever since. I got a sense of humor out
of the deal and some great new garter belts, not even to mention that I can have
a birthday cake from Nooky's Erotic Bakery and you can't.
Hey everybody, shake your
hand at the wrist and go wooooooooo wooooooo in that real sarcastic manner at
Kathy Haigler. (Free sarcasm lesson are just another friendly public
service we provide at The World's Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.)
"Blackballed in the
Backroom" - that's gonna be the title of my new album as soon as my band -
Bichin' Betty and the Sequined Backhoes - gets back in the recording studio.
August 9 -
My friend Carol in Vermont sent me this picture of
Willie when we loaned him out.
Thank goodness they didn't make him get a haircut.
August 9 -
If I made this up, you wouldn't believe me. This is a fully grown woman
speaking ---
Sheryl Berg, Harris County GOP Senate District 11 chair,
said she would like to tell DeLay, “I wish you could reconsider.”
“We needed to get some marching orders” and not a notice of
withdrawal, she said. “It’s just a bad scenario. I feel like an orphan child.”
Marching orders? Orphan? Mental health disorder? What is wrong with
you, Girl?
Sheryl, put on your big
girl panties and deal with it!
This is reason # 346 why
I cannot be a Republican woman. The last darn thing I want from a
politician is "marching orders." The next to the last darn thing I want
from a politician is for him to be my Daddy. Sheryl is creeping me out.
I'm a grown-up.
Plus, my politicians take their marching orders from ME - the citizen, the
taxpayer, the constituent.
Oh Honey, the Belles of
Heaven Republican Women's Club must be about two Prozacs away from ribbing off
their bodices and throwing themselves on Tom's front lawn.
August 9
- Reasons why I think Sugar Land Mayor David Wallace will run as a write-in.
1. Well-known
photo-op addiction.
2. Hasn't
hacked-off enough Republican precinct chairs yet. Willie Johnson of
Brazoria County still likes him.
3. Hair.
People, the man shouldn't waste such good-looking hair!
4. It was Tom
DeLay's final wish for world domination.
5. Excellent
opportunity to inform the world of his very close relationship with
Mark Thatcher.
6. If the State of
City speech costs $100 to attend, can you even imagine the money to be had for
the State of the Congressional District speech?
7. Gets his kicks
from hacking off Terese Raia.
8. If you stick a
pin a David Wallace's ego, he'd fly around the room backward for three full
days. Ego needs feeding. Tell the man he's great, Dude; the man's
hungry.
And the main reason why Shelley Sekula-Gibbs can't be a write-in candidate?
There's no hyphen on the
dial-a-letter E-Slate voting machine the Republicans picked for us. This
ain't touch-screen. You have to dial the letter and then click enter.
It could take all day to write in Juanita Jean Herownself.
My
friend
Muse has a cool take on Shelley of the pink leggin's.
August 8
- Our friend, Sam from Pearland, has a double-scoop A plus genuine American
idea!
I could have solved Tom's problems if
only he had asked me.
1. Tom cops to a plea of money
laundering which makes him a felon and-
2. Now he has to withdraw from the
race and-
3. Now Dubya can pardon him
(following his dad's example) and-
4. Tom can get a job as a talk show
host at KSEV when they switch to their all felon format.
From 6-9 it's the Jon (by
remote) and Tom show talking bout ethics, morality and internet chat room
etiquette.
From 9-11- The Randy
Cunningham show (by remote).
From 11-2 - Rush Limbaugh.
"When I take Viagra I just get taller."
Followed by Bob Ney, Ralph
Reed, Jack Abramhoff-the list is endless.
August 8
- Cute Republican tricks. The latest rumor going around ----
James Bopp Jr., the lawyer who argued the
Republican case, said today that there may still be ways to keep Mr. DeLay off
the ballot. For instance, Mr. Bopp said in a telephone interview, Gov. Rick
Perry of Texas - a Republican - could appoint or nominate Mr. DeLay to another
office, thereby making him ineligible to serve in Congress.
If that happened, another Republican could be named to take Mr. DeLay's place
on the ballot in November, Mr. Bopp said.
Have mercy - these Republicans get real cute when they are forced to follow the
law.
August 8-
Honest to goodness, this is an actual email Tom DeLay sent to me personally at
my personal email address. As has become the Republican trademark, he
takes NO responsibility for his own acts causing this mess. He blames
everyone but himself. Look, if Scalia is too liberal for him, where's he
going?
I am not kidding.
He actually sent this to me. I can prove it.
Dear Susan,
Earlier this year, I
resigned from the U.S. House of Representatives and became a resident of the
State of Virginia to establish my new business, and where I now legally
reside, pay taxes and vote.
This decision was and is irrevocable, which I made clear from Day One.
My action was taken in accordance with Texas law, federal precedent and common
sense. I felt it was my duty to allow Texas Republicans to choose a new
candidate for the Fall Election Ballot.
In November, voters in the 22nd District of Texas deserve a choice between
candidates who actually live in the District, between a Republican and
Democrat, and between those two people whose names should appear on the
ballot.
Unfortunately, the Federal courts have slammed the door shut on a fair ballot
choice between two 22nd District residents representing our two major parties.
The court ruling allows a Democrat – who just moved into this community – to
have his name appear on the ballot, but denies the Republican Party the
opportunity to place a District Republican resident on that same ballot.
Voters should be concerned. While judges are denying Texas voters a fair
choice this Fall, the courts allowed the Democrat Party in New Jersey to
withdraw Robert Torricelli and substitute Frank Lautenberg in a similar case
just weeks before the 2002 U.S. Senate election.
As a Virginia resident, I will take the actions necessary to remove my name
from the Texas ballot. To do anything else would be hypocrisy.
I strongly encourage the Republican Party to take any and all actions
necessary to give Texas voters an up-or-down choice this Fall between two
major party candidates.
Finally, I am honored by the faith and trust you have placed in me as we have
all worked to protect the things that make the 22nd District special.
I appreciate your friendship, prayers and strong support over the years.
Sincerely,
Tom DeLay
What a whiney miserable excuse for an American.
August 8
- Richard Nixon resigned on August 8th, making it a fitting day for
Tom DeLay to
also end his political career. Cut 'n Run DeLay has withdrawn.
Dogged by
scandal, former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay intends to withdraw as a
candidate for Congress, a Republican strategist said today, a step that would
allow the party to field a write-in candidate in hopes of holding his seat
They say that DeLay will make his own announcement this afternoon.
Prediction: it will be unapologetic, filled with self pity, and there will
be at least 5 mentions of God, Jesus, and little children. Although Thelma
is betting that he'll hide behind little puppies this time just for a change of
pace.
Today is Ole Bubba's and
my wedding anniversary. Happy Anniversary, Bubba - here's Tom DeLay's Rump
on a Plate, all gift-wrapped with a bow about the size of Vermont.
I'll be back when Tom
makes it official.
Fort Bend Now will be updating.
And Charles Kuffner is
ahead of the ball, too.
Kuff is rock solid
with his observations, especially about Poor Gary Gillen being caught
flat-footed - again. Poor guy is in way over his head.
Best line yet - thank
you, John - is that DeLay had electile dysfunction.
Best endorsement of Nick Lampson comes from Houston Republican Executive
Committeewoman Kathy Heigler.
“The way I know Tom and how he feels about Nick Lampson,
he’s not going to leave us with no one to vote for,” Haigler said.
Tom DeLay doesn't like Nick Lampson. That's all I needed to know.
August 8 -
Okay, for entertainment purposes only, here's the E-Slate
instructions on how to do a write-in. You have to turn the little knob
and then click it just right for each letter. It's a pains-taking process.
Anyone can declare
themselves a write-in candidate before Aug. 29th with a filing fee of $3125 and
500 signatures. A list of all write in candidates will be posted at all polling
places. Their names will not be on the ballot. It will be up to the voter to
dial in and click each letter of the person's name on the E-slate.
And before the
Republicans start whining, it was the Republican county judge, Bob Hebert, who
push hard for these voting machines.
August 8 -
Cool news - DeLay is pondering
withdrawing and supporting a write-in candidate. Talk about the kiss
of death.
I can just see Sugar Land
Mayor David Wallace salivating all over city hall today. He's going to run
as a write-in as the DeLay endorsed candidate. I wonder what Democratic
smooth-talking dude came up with this plan and sold it to Wallace. Spend
Wallace's money, get Wallace beat, and grin all the way top the bank. You
gotta wonder --- is this the Robert Talton plan?
Mosey on over to
Chapter 146 of the
Texas Election Code and see what laws the Republicans can break over there.
I'll make a deal with you
today. If Wallace runs as the DeLay endorsed write-in, I'll run as the NOT
DeLay endorsed write-in. Two dollars perfectly good American money says
I'll whip Wallace's patootie, and Lampson will still get 90% of the vote.
August 8
- WOO! WOO! Keep those sign orders
coming in, Folks! We're about half an inch away from seeing DeLay go down
in DeFeat! The orders flowed in last night from all over the country.
Thank you guys so much! You're the best customers anywhere. Okay, so
maybe not you Amanda Hunter of Greenville, South Carolina, who has not adopted a
sign yet.
(The Republicans hate
these signs. It's a constant reminder to them of the mess they've made.)
Me and Ole Bubba and some
friends went to the Steakhouse last night to celebrate and have a Margarita or
three. I'll be darned if a local contested Republican candidate didn't
show up about 5 minutes later looking .... well, not near as happy as we were,
that's for sure!
The Republican candidates
here are taking it hard, my friend. Can you imagine having to run on the
same ticket as Tom DeLay? No, you cannot, because you wouldn't get close
enough to him to file your papers to run for office.
Thank you, Nick Anderson
----
August 7 -
Sorry I'm late;
I had to pull myself down from the ceiling.
DeLay must now start
reporting contributions to his legal defense fund. I can't wait to see
them.
Meanwhile, this is our
friend Dr. Doyle talking ---
BLAST that liberal activist Scalia! When will liberals like
him learn that they can't thwart the will of the people? If the people say
they want to flush their votes down the toilet, then have someone pick their
member of Congress with no input from themselves, then he needs to stop all
his tax and spend, welfare-state, gay agenda, pro-abortion, Communist
agitating and get with the program! Even if they didn't say it, or
anything like it, or hint at anything like it, he still needs to stick
to the talking points and rule the right way!
Blasted liberal activists. High time we just abolished judges. And elections,
while we're at it; nothing but stinkin' liberal do-gooding. Our illustrious
forefathers and brave boys in uniform laid down their lives so we could have
government by cash on the barrel, and don't anyone ever forget it!
Dr. Doyle in Nacogdoches
My bet is that DeLay will withdraw from the ballot by the end of next week.
Meanwhile, he's a candidate and must follow all the rules of a candidate.
Scalia was the end of the road for that "I'm just hanging around until we find
an activist judge" song Tom is singing.
The Republicans should
throw DeLay's butt in the Brazos River for what he's done. But then they'd
have to skim nasty for a week.
However, if DeLay stays
in the race, I'm ready to toss his butt in the loser's circle double hard!
August 7 -
Thank the Lord for
Aladamnbama - those folks are on a constant vigilance to keep Texas
politicians from looking so bad!
In Alabama they are
seeking to defend the God-given right of a politician to be a pavement princess!
Attorneys for former Gov. Don Siegelman and former HealthSouth CEO Richard
Scrushy sought to have their government corruption convictions thrown out
Friday, saying the jury's verdict threatens the ability of candidates to raise
campaign money through private donations.
Siegelman and Scrushy were convicted in June following a two-month trial.
Prosecutors said the men were involved in scheme where Siegelman agreed to
appoint Scrushy to an important hospital regulatory board in exchange for
Scrushy arranging $500,000 in donations to Siegelman's campaign for a
statewide lottery.
"If this conviction is upheld, it means in Alabama anytime you make a
contribution politically and later are appointed to any position by the person
receiving the contribution, it will be up to prosecutors to decide if they
want to indict you," said Terry Butts, one of Scrushy's attorneys.
Yep. That conviction is just gonna ruin all my plans to give fifty dollar
contributions to my favorite district clerk candidate.
Siegelman was a Democrat.
He was defeated in the Democratic primary after indictment. Republican
would have re-nominated him and then written wonderful things about him on local
websites!
August 7 -
I've run out of fingers to keep count of these suckers, but is somebody keeping
a list of
Republican "values" stopping at the bank?
Kurt Michael, chair of the
Augusta County Republican Party, told us on Friday why he was such a fan of
U.S. Sen. George Allen, R-Va.
“Character of that level is not
found in other people,” he said, referring to Allen, who is running for
re-election against Republican-turned-Democrat Jim Webb.
We are troubled, however, that
Allen is profiting off a drug that many of his evangelical supporters consider
a form of abortion. Allen is staunchly pro-life yet owns stock in Barr
Laboratories, makers of Plan B, or the morning-after contraceptive pill,
according to his financial disclosure report.
Kinda like Tom DeLay
and Barcardi. Republicans have morals out the kazoo until their
checkbook is involved.
August 7
- My friend Hal has a great post about all the reasons
Tom won't
run again.
However, Hal didn't give
the #1 reason - Tom DeLay is a chicken poop coward who cuts and runs in the face
of real danger.
(It sure felt good to say
that.)
Cattle rustler Bob Ney bites the dust.
August 6 -
Oh Trembling Truckload of Pink and Purple Pills - do we ever have a
market for this in Fort Bend County! You could hand these suckers out
by the basket at the courthouse and raise the IQ level to .... well heck, at
least almost normal.
"With mice and fruit flies we were able to
eliminate the loss of short-term memory," Ropers, 62, is quoted
saying in the German newspaper, which has dubbed it the "world's
first anti-stupidity pill."
August 6
- Okay, this is becoming way too much fun. We bought 100 of the
yardsigns and through nationwide attention, we have
enough money to buy 200 more. We are now putting those up for
adoption, so keep those donations coming in.
Meanwhile, in
keeping with the great Democratic tradition of humor and spirit, we are offering
a one-time-only special once-in-a-lifetime offer. You can adopt and 4 by 4
foot Democratic sign directly in the path of the driveway of the Fort Bend
County Republican Party Chairman!
No, I am not joking.
Muse,
Hal,
Bryan, and Mark secured a
location directly across the street from Gary Gillen's home and office. We
decided that since this is such a special offer, we will up the adoption fee to
$100. for this sign. What a bargain! Think of the pleasure it
will bring you to know that Tom DeLay's local party chairman is witnessing the
re-birth of the Democratic party in his hometown. And, you brought it to
his driveway!
This is Hal and Charles erecting the sign this afternoon. Check across the
street at the word "Gillen." That's his pest control business.
(Obviously it didn't work on Charles and Hal.)
Check out
Bryan's blog for reasons why you need to jump on this once in a lifetime
offer. First $100 contribution wins the right to have their name, or
slogan, or high school - IN LARGE LETTERS - on the sign. We'll also send
you a picture and a monthly health report!
August 5 -
Okay, I have a cool Adopt-A-Sign story to tell you.
About six months ago, I heard from a woman in California named Cindy.
Cindy had been reading Juanita’s for a few months and was enjoying it. One day
she discovered the Who We Are page and did a double-take
by recognizing my birth name at the bottom of the page. Cindy and I went to
high school together – we are both Spring Branch Bears.
Cindy immediately emailed me and we discovered, among other things,
that our Mommas sit together in church every Sunday. In Texas, that practically
makes you family.
Cindy adopted a sign and asked that I put, “Spring Branch
Bears – West” on it.
I took the signs to the Democratic Women’s lunch yesterday to ask some
of my girlfriends to plant the adopted signs in their yards. I told them I
would take a picture of them with the sign to send to sign-adopters. My friend
Judy was going through the stack to see if she knew anyone before she picked a
sign to plant.
