This website is dedicated to
ground zero for democracy. Thanks to Congressquitter Tom DeLay and
Governor Rick Perry, the good people of the Texas 22nd will soon be the
only Congressional District in America since 1776 to have taxation without
representation. Our forefathers shed blood over this. However, our local
Republicans think it's just hunkey dorey,
and they will hit you if you try to say otherwise.
This site mostly is about local politics. Nevertheless, you
folks from foreign states can better understand what the fool tarnation is
going on down there.
Here's the deal: This ain't a blog. It's a professional political
organization. Send me email - I'll post it if I feel like it.
Meanwhile this beauty shop ain't
charging you a dime, so ADOPT A SIGN, dammit.
The Texas Department of Transportation has stopped granting
new contracts to a Florida engineering company that has overcharged the state
and clients nationwide because of accounting irregularities.
......
The accounting improprieties had the effect of
increasing what is called an overhead rate, or multiplier, in the
construction industry. That multiplier is applied to base rates for
engineering and design services to determine billings to clients.
Officials with the agency could not say Monday how
much the state may have been overcharged. But Saenz, in a May 24 memo
to his chief engineers in the department's districts around the state,
said the overcharges had run from as early as 2000 to the present
"Accounting irregularities." Yeah, I'd say - the company's CFO, W. Scott DeLoach,
is going down for embezzling $36 million. To reduce his sentence, he's about to
reveal that the company reimbursed him and others for campaign contributions.
DeLoach gave $5,000 to ARMPAC.
So, when the rubber hits
the road, PBS&J stole money from Texans and used it to bribe DeLay.
Alfredo concludes, "Kinda
poetic, don't you think?"
Had enough yet? Not that I'm keeping count or
anything, but Tom Harrington of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma has yet to adopt a sign.
Tom, we're counting on you, Bub.
August
27 - I need to get me a bumper stickers that says, “Local Republicans
Made Me A Yellow Dog Democrat. Give Them Another Two Years and and They’ll Make
You One, Too.”
The perfume called Eau de
Arrogance in this county rises off the GOP like a strong whiff of cow pattie on
a humid day. They just can’t seem to get enough of your money, your misplaced
trust or your patience.
Some
folks have been pondering on County Judge
Bob Hebert’s Texas Two-Step on
whether or not he has judicial duties. First he said he did and then he
said he didn’t, but when direct written information was found
on the county site and on his
personal political website, his judging went from “Now In A Theater Near
You” to “Featured Attractions” in less time than it takes to pop the popcorn.
Even if ya held his bare
feet to parking lot asphalt at about 3:00 tomorrow afternoon, he probably
couldn’t tell ya the truth because he’s had to concoct so many stories to cover
his ample rump that keeping one on top of his thinking mechanism is hard to do.
Now, never mind that he
just copied the county website’s information into his own personal political
website even though somebody was paid county tax money to write it in the first
place. That’s just a small example of how this county is his, his I tell you!
It’s Bob Hebertville, dammit!
It’s easy to see how this
happened. Bob wanted to have judicial duties so he could prance around in a
judge’s robe, hit people with a gavel, and be addressed as Your Honor. But when
it comes to wanting to help his good-ole-boys, he can change clothes faster than
Superman in a doublewide phone booth. The currently operative story is that he’s
not a judge now but he will be one in January, so he'll start acting like a
judge in January.
What happens in January?
Are they gonna take him down to The Brazos River and dunk him in the holy
judicial waters of wisdom and integrity? Does he graduate law school? No,
siree. January is when he gets a courtroom. Oh for Pete’s Sake. (Do not buy
his nice little story about how he's saving the county money. There's far
more to this story that I'll tell you later.)
Hebert, like his co-heart
Republican white males, cannot admit to ever making a mistake. Endorsing
candidates was a mistake and a misuse of his office. But could he simply say
that and ask forgiveness? No. He. Cannot.
Let me give you another
little tiny, hardly even significant example of Hebert’s arrogance.
Take a look at his campaign finance report. He’s sitting on $120,000. of
tax-free money in a campaign warchest with no opponent. You’d think he could
spare $25 for a notary public to notarize his political campaign expense report
other than his own Executive Assistant, who works for the taxpayers, not Bob
Hebert or Bob Hebert’s campaign.
He’s not supposed to even
have these campaign finance forms in his county office. They were notarized on
a Monday – they day they were due. Does he care how that looks? Of course
not. He’s Bob Hebert and he helped make me a Democrat.
Coming soon - how Judge
Brady Elliott pushed me over the edge.
August
25 - He's still whining. Gee, ain't there a statewide limit
on whining? Tom DeLay seems incapable of admitting that he had even a
small, tiny, tee-weensy role in all this.
Dallas Morning News -----
Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay said he never thought the courts would
prevent the Republican Party from replacing him on the November ballot, a
Houston television station reported Thursday.
"I'm very disappointed in our justice system. There doesn't seem to be
justice," DeLay told KTRK-TV.
Justice? Did he say "justice"? I dunno. Taking money from
people for a political campaign that you full-well know you're not going to
spend for a political campaign doesn't seem like justice.
However, unless he's
lying again, there does appear to be good news ---
DeLay said he is helping with a book about his career and how the last 22
years of the country's history helped advance the conservative cause. He said
he will not become a lobbyist and will never again run for political office.
Nah, I wouldn't bet my best pair of pink boots on it.
August 24
- Our customer, Kathy, keeps us informed of the only place crazier than Fort
Bend County: Roseland, Indiana.
This week,
we're back in city council, where there was bloodshed and handcuffs and
antenna towers in cement and all manner of good government. The report
starts with --
ROSELAND — Blood was drawn Thursday at the Roseland Town
Council meeting.
It happened when Town Marshal Mike Howell arrested an 82-year-old man for
alleged disorderly conduct after he was ejected from the council meeting by
President Dorothy Snyder.
The skin on Louis Krueper Sr.’s arm near his wrist apparently was cut or torn
as Howell placed handcuffs on him.
And ends with ----
A few minutes earlier, Snyder had ordered Rosemary Penn to
leave after she said “amen” at the end of the Pledge of Allegiance.
You can't be saying Amen at the end of the pledge of allegiance! I think
that's in the Unites States Constitution. Or maybe it's Take Me Out To The
Ballgame that you can't say Amen after. I get the two confused.
I tried to get arrested
at a school board meeting here one time but they wouldn't take the bait.
They had passed a rule that you couldn't say anything "negative" about a school
board member when you spoke to the school board. I warned them that I was
a'comin' and I was gonna call them all names. They had a bunch of police
there and everything.
This is a true story.
So, anyway, they even
made you sign up and write down what you were going to say. I wrote a
recipe for cornbread on my card. No, really, I did. Then I stood up
and said, "You're a bunch of idiots if you think for one minute that you can
suppress free speech just because you're sitting at a bench that makes you think
you're on the Supreme Court."
They all looked at the
school board's lawyer. Well, all of them except my friend who was on the
school board and the sole vote against this no-negative policy. She put
her head on the table and shook with laughter. So did the lawyer.
They threw out the rule
at the next meeting.
I couldn't even get
arrested.
I need to move to
Roseland.
August 24
- There is some confusion about how a write-in candidacy
works.
So, here's the law in a Microsoft Word document.
Remember: you can
write-in anyone's name - it doesn't have to be one of the official write-in
candidates. You can write in any one of the 92 Shelleys who are registered
to vote in Fort Bend. Or any of the 54 Gibbs who vote in Fort Bend.
We only have 2 Sekulas and Shelley's not one of them, so that seems to be the
easiest route.
Or, you can write-in
Nader. It's worked so well for him before.
Bryan has some excellent examples of how to write-in Shelley.
Shelleyshelly-bo-belly-bananafana-fo-felley is my favorite.
As
GOP stalwarts try to distance themselves from former House Majority Leader Tom
DeLay, Arizona's Rep. Trent Franks has remained by his side.
The embattled DeLay spoke at a Franks fund-raiser on Capitol Hill in December.
Franks gave $4,200 to DeLay's re-election committee in March, nearly six
months after the then-Texas congressman was indicted by a grand jury on
money-laundering and conspiracy charges
No, wait, it gets better ....
"I know there will be criticism," Franks told The Arizona
Republic before attending the Washington fund-raiser. "But, you know,
sometimes loyalty to friends that you believe are being unfairly attacked is
still something to aspire to in this town."
Quick! Somebody tell Franks what Tom DeLay did to the Republican Party
right here in Fort Bend. Maybe he doesn't know that The Hammer turned into
The Screwdriver.
On second thought, don't.
You'd have to define "unfair" for him.
August 24 -
There's an editorial in today's
Houston
Chronicle about how silly it is that the Republicans like to refer to the
Democratic Party as the "Democrat Party."
Gretchen
Essell, a spokeswoman for the Republican Party of Texas, was more helpful.
Republicans use the term "Democrat Party," she said, "because it ticks them
[Democrats] off and because of their blatant disregard for the democratic
process."
Okay, so the first person who alerts the Chronicle that I've been calling the
Republicans "The Nincompoop Party" for the same reason will not be invited to
our next garter belt exchange party.
And if disregard for
process is to be considered, I'll have to change that to "The Fibbing Nincompoop
Party."
The Chronicle goes on to
say....
The GOP's
strategy of trying to deprive Democrats of their chosen party name and its
associations reflects and contributes to the incivility, malice and
misrepresentation that mark this era's partisan politics.
At least in this
case the voters will no longer be confused about the incorrect usage. The
practice isn't due to ignorance or indifference to correct usage. It's simply
bad manners.
Look Folks, the very last thing that concerns me about the Fibbing
Nincompoop Party is their bad manners. I don't mind that they chew with
their mouths open. What I mind is that they steal the food.
So, if there's an
editorial in the Chronicle tomorrow about me having bad manners for the whole
Nincompoop thing, please tell them that upon occasion my feet stink, too.
August
24 -
Muse and View from 22 are on
to something. It seems that our County Judge Bob Hebert (pronounced like a
man who's afraid of a T), has been violating the Judicial Canons of Ethics by
endorsing candidates.
Hebert, who is best known
for his greed and gastronomy, may try to contend that county judges are not real
judges. If that is true, please ask him why he requested that the real
judges allow him to hear probate matters.
He did. It's true. You
can check the Board of Judges meeting minutes. The reason he wanted to
hear probate matters? So he could be paid more money. The $105,000 a year
he makes now isn't enough.
Hebert is a real piece of work,
and good on Muse and View for knocking him upside the literary head.
Mr. Price plans to address the council at today's meeting at 9 a.m. at City
Hall. He said he's fed up with people who walk the streets "with their pants
below their buttocks with their underwear exposed.”
Several council members backed the idea Tuesday, with Bill Blaydes declaring,
"It's an embarrassment to our city if we can't keep our pants up.”
Sign # 5 that people in Dallas don't have near enough to do in their
free time. I was in Dallas about a month ago and the only butts I saw were
actually serving on city council.
And from the "Oh Yeah,
Well You Could've Fooled Me" Department --- from the same article....
The Dallas school district already prohibits pants that droop below the
waistline. But Mr. Price – who's rumored to be considering a run for City
Council – said it's time for the issue to be addressed citywide, saying that
people shouldn't run around "like third-class citizens in a first-class city."
August
23 - Please, I need help. I can't even find it in wikipedia.
Here's my question: in what even minor way is a political operative
anything at all like a "real" citizen? "Real" citizens don't have
cloven hoofs, you know.
The law that helped drive Tom DeLay
from the U.S. House and put two of his allies under criminal indictment can't
be understood by the "man in the street," defense lawyers argued Tuesday.
Lawyers for Jim Ellis and John Colyandro,
two DeLay lieutenants who operated the Texans for a Republican Majority
political action committee during the 2002 campaign, argued that the Texas 3rd
Court of Appeals should throw out the indictments against their clients
because the state's ban on corporate campaign money is confusing.
"It should be so clear that they know they
are violating the law," attorney Joe Turner said. "Real citizens can't look at
the law and understand it."
They also argued that the state's
money-laundering statute did not apply to checks at the time, just cash.
I guess the writ twits for these fellas don't understand that it's the job of a
political operative to know the campaign finance laws. After all, they
knew the laws well enough to laundry the money, duh. Additionally, I don't
know about you, but as a "real" citizen I understand that checks are somewhat
like cash. It's a good thing that
they're arguing this in front of a judge and not "real" citizens.
August
22 - Okay, so this starts out with Bob Barr, that creepy little Georgia
dude who was waaaay too concerned about Bill Clinton's hoochy-koochy life.
Yesterday,
Barr
endorsed the Libertarian Bob Smithers in the CD22 race, and the only
newspaper who thought that was news was the
Washington Times, the
newspaper owned by the crazy Moonies. Now this whole thing
would have passed without much notice until former State Republican Executive
Committeeman for District 18, Michael Franks, has himself a full-fledged
terminal keyboard attack. I am reprinting what he sent out to his fellow
Republicans right here exactly as it was written. He included a link to
the Washington Times article. Prepare yourself.
Republicans have used scare tactics for so long that the all-caps keys on their
keyboards are stuck in the full and upright locked position. Even words
like "doomed" aren't sufficient anymore, they have to have meaningful
punctuation and screaming behind them. Take a deep breath, calm yourself
and see what's happening in the GOP mind. Michael Franks hits the
keys in this manner .....
Congressman
Bob Barr, as we all remember, LEAD the impeachment of Bill Clinton!!!!
Let the man have a shot at it. ANY write in candidate is DOOMED
from our side. Royal Masset, Gary Polland, Jerry Patterson, Bobby Eberle and
almost EVERY political pundent, expert, and consultant anywhere in Texas and
the Nation KNOWS it's almost LUNACY to think we can win a write in, especially
if 2 or more write in's run anway, PLUS the Republican votes Bob Smither will
pull since he is the ONLY other name on the ballott that isn't "Liberal
Lampson"
We LOST the legal battle. We wont have a Republican candidate
on the ballott. We now need to move gears and be "Patriots" and not just
"party purist" and do what is BEST for our NATION to stop the Democrats from
gaining control. What general would lead their troops into a battle KNOWING
they would all be slaughtered? They would pull back as Sam Houston did, and
live to fight another day. If we KNOW we can't win. It is lunacy to
waste time trying to do so.
ALLLL that energy and $$ and effort could BETTER go to races
where we can win like State Rep HEFLIN. He has a shot. A write in for
Congress does not. Smither is our only legitimate shot.
Michael Franks Former SREC SD18
So the Republican Party is going to pour $3 million on this fire? Oh cool.
I don't know about you,
but I need me one of those political pundent jobs. And, I'll betcha that
Sam Houston could spell ballot.
August 22 -
A friend in Brazoria County tells me ...
Just wanted to let you know that I received a call
tonight--an automated poll which asked only 3 questions:
1. Do you believe the country is headed in the right
direction (1 for yes, 2 for no)?
2. If the election were held today, (1 for Shelly, 2 for
Nick)?
3. Are you male (press 1) or female (press 2)?
Very interesting...I'm not very up on how and why these
polls are done, but I'm guessing it is the GOP doing this to see where they
are at in the polls.
I have very smart friends. Shelley is trying to see whether having George
"Camus Reader" Bush campaign for her in the district will help or hurt.
And, she's trying to see if Security Moms are now more concerned about health
care, education, and needing a draft to fulfill our military commitments than
they are about being toyed with over the terror level. You won't have to guess
at the results of this poll because we either see George Bush here in a week or
we don't.
Citing his desire to support the
Republican Party in its difficult write-in campaign to hold the congressional
seat vacated by Tom DeLay, Sugar Land Mayor David Wallace withdrew from the
race Monday.
The move leaves Houston Councilwoman
Shelley Sekula-Gibbs as the sole Republican write-in candidate — a
condition, Wallace said, for $3 million in campaign funding from the national
GOP.
Okay, here's the deal. The day the total $3 million arrives here, I'll
throw in an extra fifty buck American after-taxes money of my own because I
think the GOP is fibbing again. It would be nuts to throw
$3 million dollars into a write-in race when Bonilla's seat is on the line.
Okay, wait. Let me re-group here. After all, this is the political
party that is spending us into collapse in Iraq while our ports are not secure
and we have gridlock trying to get out of the path of a killer hurricane.
Okay, so maybe they will send $3 million here. I still think that
putting a condition on Wallace's withdrawal is illegal. And, I'm wondering
if Wallace said that on purpose to undermine the Sekula-Gibbs candidacy.
August 20
- Here's a paragraph from Wallace's press release today.
If he didn't cross the line of Kaisner v. State, he sure edged up close enough
for some stench to get on him. The whole press release (He adores
himself!) and pictures are coming.
August 20
- David Wallace is withdrawing. He says that the GOP in Washington is
promising to send $3 million if there's only 1 candidate. CORRECTION:
He only said "Washington." That means K-Street. More tainted money
headed this way.
August 20
- The Cane Room? Oooohhhhhh, this is more serious than I thought.
Media Advisory:
SUGAR LAND Mayor David Wallace will be holding a press
conference on Monday, August 21, 2006, at 1:30 p.m. in the Cane room at Sugar
Land City Hall. Mayor Wallace will be making an announcement regarding the
direction of his congressional campaign and will be available to speak with
the media immediately following the press conference.
Since Wallace sent protestors down to Pearland, I guess he's worried that maybe
turn-about really is fair play.
August 20
- I wonder who is bringing the bullhorns? David Wallace is making an
announcement on the steps of
Sugar Land City Hall this afternoon at 1:30.
The World's Most
Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. will be sending our senior political war
correspondent, Bubba Hank Janochek. Bubba Hank was at the last press
conference on the step of Sugar Land city hall and those
Christian Coalition people tried
to kill him. Since Bubba Hank is a
passivist except during deer season, he won't be bringing any weapons himself,
but through some contacts he has in the military, he has asked for a Navy
cruiser to be stationed in the fountain out front of city hall just in case
those Christian Coalition soldiers get all up and slapping people around again. So, we'll have breaking
news on it here and photos to follow as soon as Bubba Hank gets his rump back
here. By the way, if Christian
Coalition Mother of All Things Sexual or Progressive Terese Raia is there, tell
her that
I
just love her new website.
August
20 - The Fort Worth
Star Telegram still has former Fort Bend GOP Chairman Eric Thode's phone
number. When asked if it's possible that a Democrat could win Tom DeLay's
seat, Thode says ...
"No question it's possible," said Thode,
GOP chairman in DeLay's home county until a few months ago. "I would hope that
any logical thinking Republican will realize where the blame lies. The blame
lies with Tom DeLay."
You know how you can spot a Republican in Fort Bend County? Very buff
pointing finger - gets lots of exercise. Thode claims to Texas
Monthly that he knew back in January that DeLay was going to withdraw after the
primary. Thode kept the secret, and then spent a truckload of GOP party
money to help his friend, David Wallace. Which brings us to ----- Rumor has it that Million
Dollar Dave Wallace is holding a press conference on the steps of Sugar Land
City Hall tomorrow afternoon to make an announcement. Hummmm .... I wonder
if we should send Marsha Rovai
with a bullhorn? Remember Folks:
Republican DA John Healey won't even file misdemeanor charges if you disrupt
something in Sugar Land. (More to come.) Rumor also has it that Terese
Raia is going to protest David's announcement by doing a fly-over on her broom.
August 19
- Okay, this is what I would tell David Wallace if I were his political
consultant which, of course, I ain’t. You’ve got nothing to
loose, Dude. You’ve already hacked off
more people than we can keep count of. I mean, there are three counties in CD22
who think you’ve dug yourself in a hole so deep that you can hear Chinese people
talking on the other end. If you walk away now, you
better be carrying a suitcase full of hundred dollar bills because everyone will
think you did. If you walk away now, nobody will ever forget that you backed
down from a fight because “a girl” (see
Hebert) whipped you. If you walk away now, you
can kiss your political future goodbye, no matter what the Republican Party
insiders say, because it’s gut-check time, Bubba. You walk away now and Brian
Gaston looks like Dirty Harry. You better roll the dice
because then you’ve got a chance to show what you’re really made of. By
beating Sekula-Gibbs in the write-in vote category, you command respect in two
years because you did it on your own – without “the party” backing. Neither one
of you can win the race. But, you’re jockeying for a place on the ballot in two
years and everybody knows that. In short, you don’t have
to beat Lampson, you just have to beat Sekula Gibbs and the primary is yours in
two years. You wave goodbye now and you’re toast for at least a decade. Like I said, I’m not a
political advisor and I don’t have a degree in political science or anything.
However, this is certainly better advice than you’ve been getting so far.
And my advice is free. You can't beat that with a beat-a-tronic beating
machine set on high during beat week with a beat master at the controls.
From her website: “She has published and lectured on topics including skin cancer, smoking,
dangers in tanning beds and nail salons, infection control, Tourette syndrome
and the effects of emotion on the skin.”
These are important
issues that need to be addressed in our district.
Whoever "I Like Pie" is - you get a free haircut at The World's Most Dangerous
Beauty Salon, Inc. A crowd at my house tonight just cracked up over it. (For those of you who
don't know what "I like pie," means, I'm sure that your kids will tell you.
It's not dirty or anything.)
August
19 - I'm not saying that the Republican National Committee has David
Wallace tied up and they are torturing him to force him to withdraw, but he
couldn't even return phone calls yesterday and that is oh so unlike Million
Dollar Dave. The
Houston
Chronicle reports ---
Sekula-Gibbs
may not be the lone Republican write-in candidate. Sugar Land Mayor David
Wallace, who earlier said he would run as a write-in candidate even if the
party endorsed someone else, is "considering his options," said Fort Bend
County Republican Chairman Gary Gillen.
"Considering his options..." Hummmm. Option #1: Get
off the write-in ticket and we'll let you have your first born back. Option #2: Stay on the write-in ticket and we'll drop you buck nakkid in
Baghdad with "Everything is Sweeter In Sugar Land" tattooed on your butt.
Choices, choices,
choices.
August
18 - In the Fox News
interview below, David Wallace says there are 4 cases in America where write-ins
won Congressional elections. He’s right. Let us take a little peeky at them.
Joe Skeen,
1980
This is the one people mention most. Yes, Skeen won with 38% of the vote,
against another write-in candidate, the widow of the deceased Democratic
candidate. The only person on the ballot was a very unpopular replacement
candidate, who was the Governor’s nephew.
Strom Thurmand
- 1954 and Dale Alford - 1958
Both ugly, segregationist campaigns against courageous
anti-segregationist opponents. I hardly think Mr. Wallace wants to be compared
to these folks. I dunno, I could be wrong about that.
And then there’s Ron Packard -
1982. A
quarter century ago in a heavily GOP southern California district, token
Democratic opposition was outspent, in total, by well over 100 to 1. A
contentious GOP primary left a grudge match between two well known Republicans
and an unknown Democrat. Packard, to get voters to write-in, outspent his
opponent 100 to 1. Unless
Million Dollar Dave plans on raising $300 million in the next 2 months, he
might want to reconsider this plan. Also, this was still in the pencil and
paper era. Dave can’t be handing out dials at the polls.
Now that ain’t all that Million Dollar Dave got wrong in the interview, but it’s
Friday night and I've got a party waiting on me.
August 18
- Okay, so the way this is being explained to me is that the Republican
National Committee has promised to pump $3 million into the CD22 race ONLY IF
David Wallace will drop out. I have sad news for the
RNC: You cannot put a price tag on ego. I don't care if you said $10
million or maybe a gazillion and a dime, Wallace's ego won't let it happen.
Babe, if you could harness the ego-power on his
endorsement list
alone, you could shut down the Middle East. Dangling $3 million is
almost an insult. I mean, the man's been on Fox News spelling his name out
and smiling like he's at recess in heaven. Ya ain't bringing him back down
to reality after that. Now I know for you
RNC guys that Ole Dave's about one store-bought ta-ta away from being as big an
embarrassment as Katherine Harris, but you guys need to know something - Dave's
middle name ain't "self-sacrifice" or "play fair."
I'm sorry that I had to be the one to tell you RNC guys that - it's gotta hurt.
But, Dude, David Wallace would gnaw off his arm before he'd fall in the $3
million trap.
Okay, through my high-level big-time professional journalism abilities, I have
obtained a copy of David Wallace's
interview on Fox. He's obviously not a morning person because he's
confused about several issues. But, I just wanted you to see his great
hair.
August 18 -
Okay, so our local GOP made the funny pages --
August
18 - Okay, I'm up. I'm up. Quit hollering. They came
to a conclusion and white smoke came out of the baptistery. It's Pope Shelley
Sekula-Gibbs.
The Pearland Group picked
Shelley Sekula-Gibbs. The Pecan Grove Group picked a fair parade float.
And the other 99.9% of the people in CD22 picked doing something meaningful by
not attending either meeting.
Fort Bend GOP Party Chair
Gary Gillen - who was at the Pecan Grove secret meeeting - whined about the new
by-laws for the party. Tom DeLay - who was at the Pearland secret meeting
- whined about judges.
The coolest thing I heard
all night, except that Tom DeLay showed up at the Pearland meeting and they
didn't stone him - I mean, you gotta admit that's pretty noteworthy - was that
David Wallace sent a dozen "protestors" down to Pearland to walk around with his
signs and sing Kumbaya or Michael Row the Boat Ashore or something.
Okay, so I made up the
hippie song singing and I suspect that no one burned their bra or anything but
Wallace is sure big on this protest stuff. But, hey, as long as they're
not sending Ken Dexter to whack me, I'm perfectly willing to watch them walk in
circles. The CD22 seems pretty darned good at going in circles.
The local GOPpers are saying that the National GOP has promised to send 2 to 3
million (or sometimes 4 million depending on the size of the speaker's .... uh,
mouth) to this race right here in CD22.
I think that's kinda like
David Wallace's "one million dollars" - just a bark and no bite. However,
it does show you that the Republicans think they can buy a race.
I'm sure the check's in
the mail.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
Contact: Allen Blakemore
Thursday, August 17, 2006
713-526-3399
Bettencourt Statement on CD-22
HOUSTON - In advance of tonight's Congressional District 22 meeting called by
Republican State Party Chairman Tina Benkeiser, Paul Bettencourt issued the
following statement:
"I want to make clear that I am neither a write-in candidate nor a prospective
one despite the well-intentioned draft movement within the Party."
Okay, I'm calling it quits tonight. I sleep late, so head on over to
Bob Dunn's in the morning until I get
up. And don't be sending me no whining emails because you want your news
and I'm not up. Especially you, Connie Wilderman of Spokane who has yet to
adopt a sign.
Fort Bend County District Attorney John
Healey said Wednesday that Assistant District Attorney Felipe Rendon presented
the case to the grand jury, and that First Assistant DA Fred Felcman
and Healey himself assisted in the presentment. (emphasis mine for a damn good
reason)
Now go here and see who is the
Republican Precinct
Chairman of Precinct 1016. Or don't bother because you know who it is
- Fred Felcman.
If any case ever called
for a special prosecutor, this was it.
----- and there's still more to come ----
August
17 - As if the local GOP didn't already have enough problems with secret
meetings and the good ole boys doing favors for each other, there's a whole 'nother
front adding to the bad score.
Remember the "wrecking"
of the Nick Lampson press conference by the local GOP and Tom DeLay supporters?
I told you a couple days ago that Republican District
Attorney John Healey personally took the case to the Grand Jury and got a
no-bill, making whacking old women fair game as long as they are Democrats.
I promised more.
Here comes some more ----
The "Tribute
to Tom DeLay" appreciation dinner held last month at the Marriott Hotel in
Sugar Land. John Healey was there - even posing for pictures!
Now if I did all this right, you should be able to click on the picture and see
it full-sized. John is proudly posing with his friend Marilyn Glover.
You would think that a
District Attorney with a case pending in his office against Tom DeLay supporters
would be extra-special careful to avoid the appearance of impropriety weeks
before he personally takes a case to the grand jury - something he does about as
often as Haley's comet appears. That's what you'd think and you'd think
wrong because this is the Fort Bend GOP.
---- but there's even more to come ----
August
16 - Darn, I wish hypocrisy was painful! Here's Fort Bend GOP
Party Chairman Gary Gillen blasting the other 3
counties in CD 22 while secretly plotting his own secret meeting.
Oops, I'm getting dizzy!
(Gillen may be in
violation of the Texas Open Meetings Act from the items that have been rumored
to be on the agenda.)
Couple Gillen's snotty
comments with David Wallace calling the other counties
Commies, and you've got two fellas who won't stand a three legged dog's
chance at the greyhound park come two years from now.
They spreading all their
manure on Republicans while Nick Lampson got endorsements from three police
organizations today.
Hey Gary and David -
you're using up all the stupid!
August 16
- You know, I've seen bushel baskets of wire coathangers in less mess than
the CD22 GOP.
Now Gary Gillen, the Fort
Bend County Chair (and David Wallace rah-rah cheerleader)
is
calling for a boycott of the secret closed-door meeting in Pearland with a
secret closed-door meeting of his own at the country club.
Gillen drafted a
letter Wednesday to potential candidates, saying state party officials had
organized Republicans in a "secret exclusionary process that only reinforces
the perception of a back room deal and the perception that we have something
to hide."
He said the
closed meeting "makes a mockery of our party, the democratic process and
should be avoided at all cost."
Gillen has called a meeting of the Fort Bend GOP party bosses the same night and
it's by invitation only, too. See what
I mean. The God Squad is meeting at the church. The Greed Guys
are at the Country Club and the LIDs are too disorganized to show up at either
place.
And, the Chronicle
article got everybody's first name wrong. Gary Gillen, Dean
Hrbacek, and Paul Bettencourt.
August 16
- Heads-Up! If you go to the
Texas
Secretary of State's website to check who's running for what, you will find
that two people have filed as write-in candidates for CD22 - David Wallace and
Don Richardson.
Who the hell is Don
Richardson?
Anybody?
A customer fills us in ---
Juanita,
Maj. Don Richardson filed with the FEC quite some time ago
but failed to designate a party. He has already come to the attention of
the FEC for failure to file a July 15 report. Kristen Mack at the Chron
keeps mentioning him so maybe she knows something the rest of us don't.
August 16
- Sam from Pearland sends us an interesting email about The First Baptist
Church of Pearland. Check Email from Hell.
August 16 -
Remember Bobby Eberle, GOP USA owner? The guy who gave gay male prostitute
Jeff Gannon press credentials to get into the White House press room? The
guy who cried on stage when he wasn't elected Vice-Chairman of the Texas GOP?
Don't tell me that you've forgotten Bobby
Eberle!
Well, Bobby has a new column for his website called, "The
Loft." No, I'm serious now - wipe that grin off your face.
Bobby thinks that Nick
Lampson is a liberal, and is first cousins to Nancy Pelosi or something. I
don't think Bobby is getting enough air up there in the loft.
However, he blames party
leaders - ouch! - for the DeLay "fiasco."
The congressional seat of former Majority
Leader Tom DeLay is now in jeopardy thanks in part to a failure in leadership
from party officials.
Go, Bobby, Go! Stir that pot! Keep everybody mad at each other,
pointing fingers. Atta Boy!
August
16 - Well, we're back in the
New York Times thanks to our local Republicans. And Dave
Wallace sends his regrets. Again. His campaign strategy appears to
be "Duck!"
SUGAR LAND, Tex., Aug. 15 — With dwindling
hopes of keeping
Tom DeLay’s
longtime House seat from falling to a Democrat in November,
TexasRepublicans
on Tuesday called an urgent meeting for Thursday to exercise their only
option: agreeing on a write-in candidate.
But that slender prospect — no such
write-in campaign has succeeded in the state — seemed to suffer a blow when a
leading candidate facing party opposition disparaged the meeting, saying “that
may have worked in Moscow,” and vowed to keep running even if it meant two
Republican write-in candidates.
“I’m in the race and I’m in it to win,”
said the candidate, David G. Wallace, the part-time mayor of this booming
Houston suburb named for its onetime Imperial sugar factory. He said he might
be too busy campaigning to attend the meeting.”
Let me make it perfectly clear that I have no problem at all with the
Republicans having this meeting at a church. After all, this is the same
political party who used to have their Christmas party at a bank. (I'm not
kidding. Look it up. Southern National Bank on Hwy 59))
If anybody needs the
influence of Sweet Jesus on their hateful, mean, back-biting, lying behavior,
it's these people. I'm glad they're at a church. I have no problem
with that.
Where I do have a problem
is that they're gonna lock the door. Honey, the District 22 GOP has spent
more time behind locked doors than Jeffrey Dahmer. And, I do have one
question about the church thing, though. What if Jesus comes while they're
locked in there? Does Jesus know the secret knock?
August 15
- Republican District Attorney John Healey personally took
Marsha Rovai's case to the
Grand Jury this week and got a no-bill. It's open season on Democrats in
Sugar Land now. Any citizen is free to plot to disrupt and injure any
Democratic gathering with impunity. In fact, John Healey may even give you
a medal for it -- if Bob "Swift Boat" Perry tells him to.
----- more to come
August 15 -
With our local GOP, there are three distinct groups – The God Squad, the
Libertarians in Disguise, and the Greed Guys. They fight like cats, dogs, and
….. well, let’s be honest about this … hogs.
They make strained
temporary coalitions in order to get anything done. For example, Tom DeLay was
a Greed Guy but he pretended to be in the God Squad so he could tax and spend
and still get re-elected even though the LIDs (Libertarians in Disguise)
detested him.
So, the meeting this
Thursday night will be split three ways.
Those who want Shelley
Sekula-Gibbs will the God Squad. They aren’t sold on Sekula-Gibbs (especially
after that Sex on the Beach thing) but they want anybody other than David
Wallace, and Crazy Robert Talton won’t resign his State Rep job for a gamble
with these lousy odds. So, it’s Sekula-Gibbs by default. They might make a
last-minute push for Commissioner Andy Meyers. That would be like the coolest
thing that’s ever happened to me in the past 15 years.
There’s the Greed Guys
and David Wallace is their one hot dude! They are all white. They are male.
They will steal the gold out of Grandma’s teeth and most of their religion is in
their wife’s names. They pray to Dick Cheney.
And, finally, there are
the LIDs. Look, we all read Ayn Rand in the 10th grade but most of
us got over it. They didn’t. They are people with no social skills, bless
their hearts, and are noticeable by their inability to laugh at themselves.
They believe in their inalienable right to own an atomic weapon and not to fret
too much over child pornography.
(There’s a visual way to
tell these groups apart by their hair. No, I’m serious. I’ll let you know when
I collect enough pictures to make my point.)
I predict that Thursday
night will make Lord of the Flies look like a humor novel. I heard a friend
complaining that we can’t go to the meeting. I consider that a blessing.
Pearland is just Galena Park with one less adult book store. I don't want
to go to Pearland. Plus, I'm scared of that whole lightening thing while
they're in a church thinking evil thoughts about each other.
August
15 - I've figured out a way for the Republicans to win the Congressional
22 race without a write-in. Aren't you proud?
You can now buy voting machine parts on Ebay!
This is so cool.
Their Republican county
judge, Bob "Boom Boom" Hebert, shoved through some rotten no paper trail voting
machines at great expense to the American taxpayers. Outside of the fact
that nobody trusts these machines, there's the added problem that writing-in is
darn near impossible on them.
So, they could get the
Belles of Heaven Republican Women's Club to spend all their free time on Ebay
looking for voting machine parts to build some special new write-in machines.
Since the Belles spend
lotsa time on the Internets looking for filth and smut anyway, it's really not
asking a lot.
By the way, I heard the
Boom-Boom Hebert nickname up at Luby's last night - where all the good gossip
is. I'll explain it to your foreigners later when I have time.
State and local Republican Party officials will hold a “gathering” at 7:30
p.m. Thursday at First Baptist Church of Pearland to discuss throwing support
behind a single GOP write-in candidate for Congressional District 22.
Party sources said the event is not an official meeting of the party – yet it
won’t be open to the public or the press. Precinct chairs within CD-22, GOP
chairmen and their staffs from Fort Bend, Harris, Galveston and Brazoria
counties will be invited.
So, it's another closed-door meeting. Why am I not surprised?
Does Crazy Bob Talton get to bring the cookies? Will Shelley have her
Sex on the Beach staff? Will David bring "David-Water - Purer than the
Baptismal Font"? Will Terese kiss and make-up to Pat Hebert? Will
Catholics go into a Baptist Church?
The GOP Soap Opera:
DeLays of Our Life.
August 14
- Good Lord, Republican candidates are dropping like flies. Just heard
a rumor from Austin that Ben Bentzin is dropping out of the House District 48
race. Bentzin blamed negative campaigning - like mentioning the fact that
he was tight with John Colyandro.
If David Wallace hurries fast enough, he can probably be a write-in for that
one, too.
It's confirmed. Donna Howard will only have a Looneytarian opponent.
August 14 -
One of our local bloggers,
Fred, has something pretty danged funny today.
Amicus wackos - that's funny.
August
14 - Harvey Kronberg’s
Quorum Report is the definitive source for Texas politics. Everybody who’s
anybody gladly pays their $275 a year subscription fee to have the inside
information on what’s going on in Texas politics. I’ve paid mine for four years
and it’s the best money I spend. Okay, so now that I think about it, maybe the
second best.
When the Quorum Report
needs information about our Congressional district for the daily Newsclips
section, they rely on the best news source in the county, Fort Bend Now. I know
this looks like a plug for my friend Bob Dunn, and it is. However, it’s a
tribute to solid, factual reporting and highly insightful editorials that Harvey
Kronberg recognizes Fort Bend Now as authoritative. You should, too.
Local businesses should
jump-in on the ground floor for advertising because Fort Bend Now is only going
to get more popular as the political season nears November.
But, I have another
reason to bring all this up.
On one of the comment sections, an article I wrote for the newspaper years
ago is linked to. I was call-my-Momma-and-tell-her proud that someone called my
website “anti-Republican, hate DeLay and any Christian Conservative (Right wing
religious nut or ultra right wing peron).” In case you can’t squint real good
and look into your computer screen and see me, I’m taking a bow right now even
thought I don’t know what a “peron” is.
(By the way, the “Susan”
commenting on Fort Bend Now website is not me.)
I took it all in good
nature until somebody had the unwise thought to suggest that maybe something I
wrote wasn’t 100% accurate and true.
I wrote this story about Charlie Howard and it’s pretty darned funny, but
most importantly, it’s absolutely true. Although the story was written in 1998,
nothing has changed in the Republican Party. Republican wimmen still can’t win
a contested election against a man and Charlie Howard still patronizes every
woman on the planet.
When I called Charlie
about his comments back then, he denied them at first. Then I played him the
tape of his comments from the meeting. He was more concerned about where I got
the tape than he was about the fact that he lied in front of me and Jesus was
listening.
I still have that tape
just in case Charlie ever wants to deny it in public. Or wants to run for
Congress.
August
13 - Ultra-conservative Bob "Swiftboat" Perry is already
peddling political smut in South Texas, so expect his poli-porn to erupt
here soon, being as how Perry's tighter than skin on a sausage with both David
Wallace and Shelley Sekula-Gibbs. Juan Garcia
is an American hero and a candidate for the Texas House in the Corpus Christi
area. So, Bob Perry crawls in under cover of darkness with $10,000 to
trash Juan Garcia and benefit Perry's friend rightwing nutcase
Gene Seaman.
Coming soon to a
Congressional race near you - Poli-Porn, the use of lies, distortion, and hate
funded by the Christian right to elect rightwing candidates who will bring on
Armageddon for them.
August 12 -
I have a little weekend treat for those of you who never felt like they really
got to say good-bye to Tom DeLay - his campaign phone is still hooked up to an
answering machine. Dial 281-343-1333 and leave a sweet good-bye message.
No threats or dirty talk, guys - my Momma is in the same country as you are.
(Thanks to
Muse and the Fort Bend phone
bankers for the information!)
August
12 - Oh crapola -
the
sky really IS falling since County Judge
Bob Hebert endorsed David Wallace for the write-in candidate to replace Tom
DeLay.
I knew this was going to
happen!
No, think about it.
The time the sky fell was almost perfectly aligned with the time that Hebert
made his deal with Wallace. Plus, the sky fell less than a mile from
Hebert's courthouse office. Coincidence?
Let this be a warning to
both Wallace and Hebert:
"It was extremely heavy - very dense,"
Moore said. "It had two holes in it. Obviously, it had been bolted to
something, somewhere."
Two holes where two screws used to go? Coincidence? Yeah, right.
Well, at least we know
where the two loose screws are.
August
11 - Reason # 679 why I can't be a Republican: Girls and men.
During our last primary
election in the county, every female contested Republican candidate got
beat. All of them. (Every contested minority got beat, too, but
that's another story.) A message was sent loud and clear that Republican
females can bake the cookies, carry the water, birth them babies, and even run
the campaign headquarters, but there's no seat for them at the power table.
Poor Houston City
Councilwoman Shelley Sekula-Gibbs didn't know that. She doesn't live in
this county. She didn't know that being a grown woman and a medical doctor gets
her no respect 'round here.
Our
county judge, Bob Hebert, said this of her while endorsing Sugar Land Mayor
David Wallace for the write-in candidate against DeLay ---
“She’s a solid campaigner,” Hebert
said of Sekula-Gibbs. “If she were a Fort Bend County girl and Wallace was in
Harris County, I’d be comfortable with her.”
Girl? Did he say "girl?" That's Dr. Girl to you, Hebert.
Additionally, leave it to
Hebert to hack-off the other three counties involved by supporting an idiot just
because he's from Fort Bend.
One more thing.
Hebert claims that the district is "62% to 63% Republican in a straight-up
race." Okay, remember when Hebert went to the fat farm and lost all that
weight a couple of months ago? Well, it's my theory that he didn't lose
weight. He went fishing, pulled those numbers out of his butt and just
told everybody he'd lost weight.
Bob Hebert, listen up
- is the Democratic National Committee paying you to talk?
August
10 - Let the games begin. Here is Sugar Land Mayor
David Wallace's personal financial statement
ordered fresh this morning and hot off the scanner. Play nice, now.
First off, the way I read
his report, it's about four weeks past due. Wallace hit the$5,000 trigger to
make a report mandatory no later than May 4th. The Jenkins & Gilchrist PAC gave
him just under $5,000 on April 28th and he loaned his campaign $30,000 on May
4th. His
personal financial disclosure form was due 30 days later, on June 3rd.
He filed it on June 30th, 27 days late. That should have meant a $200
penalty.
You know, if you're
trying to take Tom DeLay's place, the last thing you want to do is to be in
violation of Ethic Committee rules first thing out of the chute.
And you gotta ask
yourself something: If Wallace's fancy-pants writ twits could find time to
file an amicus brief and find time to
file with the FEC to not count their brief as an in-kind donation, you'd
think they'd have time to file his financial report.
August 10
- Okay, most of you have heard by now that the tentative title for
the book Tom DeLay is writing about himself is the totally delusional No
Retreat, No Surrender: The American Passion of Tom DeLay, or it's shorter
working title, The Passion of the Tom.
(Okay, so I made-up the
second part. But, you can't blame me for that. You would have done
it, too.)
August 10
- The National Review has a whopper of a story about
Tom DeLay and why he withdrew.
Stick with me until the
end because this gets better and better.
First off, we now know
who ran that poll a week ago in the District. Most Republicans thought the
Democrats did it, but --- sure 'nuf, it was Tom.
..... DeLay had to make a decision of his
own. And that is when, last week, he took another poll. “It showed that
nothing had changed since I made the decision right after the primary,” DeLay
told me. “My negatives were still high. The polling showed that I probably had
a 50-50 chance.”
DeLay makes no bones that he quit not because he moved, but because he was going
to get whooped.
Not long after the primary, DeLay
commissioned a poll that showed his standing in
his district had deteriorated significantly. “The poll showed, basically, that
I had a 50-50 chance of winning,” he said. So DeLay began to contemplate
leaving the race.
And he's still blaming the courts, which I'm sure has Justice Scalia doing
backflips ---
“You can always count on the judiciary to make stupid
rulings,” DeLay told me. “Not only stupid, but dangerous.”
He's not so certain that a write-in can win, calling it only "doable" and
backing off when asked directly.
“Doable” is not the most optimistic assessment one might
make, so I asked if DeLay is confident that a Republican will be elected. “No,
I didn’t say that,” he told me. “I said that people in the 22nd District
deserve a choice.”
But best of all was the announcement of his book
title:
So now, after this week’s decision, DeLay is finally past
the House. He’s working on a number of projects, chief of which is a book that
will be part memoir, part prescription for what ails contemporary
conservatism. Tentatively titled No Retreat, No Surrender: The American
Passion of Tom DeLay, it will be out sometime next year.
Obviously, he's completely lost touch with reality while holed-up in
his Sugar Land cave not even answering the door or coming to the phone. No Retreat? No
Surrender? What the fool tarnation does the man think he did yesterday? Maybe he hopes to
sell the book on the Passion of Tom DeLay part - all those steamy hot tub
scenes.
One another note, if Tom DeLay showed those poll results to his buddy David
Wallace or any other potential candidate, they have to show it as an in-kind
contribution. Heads-up, FEC watchers!
August 10 -
As usual, Ben Sargent gets it right --
And Nick Anderson recalls all the GOP whining
over Albuquerque
August
10 - You know that secret meeting at the undisclosed location yesterday
to select the backroom deal candidate for the Republican write-in candidate?
Tom DeLay was there. Oh, cool. They're gonna let Tom pick the
write-in candidate. I suspect that Jack Abramoff picked up the lunch check
and Bob Ney left the tip. But,
Robert Talton brought the cookies.
And now the Republican Head Honchos are talking
about dropping both Sekula-Gibbs and Wallace in favor of Paul Bettencourt.
The addition of Bettencourt officially makes it a three ring circus.
For you folks from foreign states, the
Houston
Chronicle de-clawed the hammer this morning.
August 9 -
About the only other thing I need to make my life about an inch from prefect
would be for Commissioner Greed
- Andy Meyers to enter the race as a write-in.
I was thinking about
hinting loudly to Andy that maybe he could use the Congressional race to fund
his wife's car. You know, list it as the Assistant Campaign Manager's
Campaign car.
And then, to make things
even more fun, we could watch them fight over which one hates
Nooky's Bakery the most.
Help me, Andy Meyers.
You're our only hope.
Sugar Land
Mayor David Wallace will be a write-in candidate for the seat House Majority
Leader Tom DeLay abandoned, according to a member of Wallace's campaign team.
Thank you, Ms. Genie - that was my third wish!
He won't be able to raise
money for a write-in race, his ethics become the issue, and he goes into the
2008 race as a looser.
OH NO!
Sit your rump down because you're not going to
believe this. David Wallace made
his announcement to run as a write-in while the selection committee (see below)
was still meeting. I'm not kidding --- he by-passed the entire process and
named himself KING while everyone else was waiting patiently.
What a complete jerk.
And it looks like the
DCCC was chompin'
at the bit for this one.. And, from what I understand, those are some
of the nicest things that Wallace has done.
August 9 -
You'd think they wouldn't be flapping their lips over backroom deals, but
Republicans have gotten so used to it that it's become the normal course of
governing.
In talking about selecting a write-in candidate, Harris County Selector
Kathy Haigler says ---
Nevertheless, that’s where the GOP is headed. Local party
officials said Texas GOP Chairman Tina Benkiser has called a meeting of local
party leaders – presumably State Republican Executive Committee members – at
an undisclosed area location at 11 a.m.
“We need to have a
meeting of the leadership and get people together and come out with who we’re
willing to support,” Kathy Haigler, a Harris County GOP precinct chair and
SREC member. “You keep the door locked until you come out with one name.
Undisclosed location? Ring! Ring! "Hey, Kathy, it's Dick
Cheney on line one and he's sooo hacked at you."
And when backroom deals
don't work, you rely on that time-proven GOP method of getting things done -
vicious personal threats.
It’s possible the
precinct chairs would be asked to vote for one candidate, “and you tell anyone
else if they run” as a write-in, “they’ll be blackballed forever” in future
races by the Republican Party, Haigler said.
Hey, lighten up, Girl. I've been blackballed forever from the Republican
party and I've been a much happier person ever since. I got a sense of humor out
of the deal and some great new garter belts, not even to mention that I can have
a birthday cake from Nooky's Erotic Bakery and you can't.
Hey everybody, shake your
hand at the wrist and go wooooooooo wooooooo in that real sarcastic manner at
Kathy Haigler. (Free sarcasm lesson are just another friendly public
service we provide at The World's Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.)
"Blackballed in the
Backroom" - that's gonna be the title of my new album as soon as my band -
Bichin' Betty and the Sequined Backhoes - gets back in the recording studio.
Thank goodness they didn't make him get a haircut.
August 9 -
If I made this up, you wouldn't believe me. This is a fully grown woman
speaking ---
Sheryl Berg, Harris County GOP Senate District 11 chair,
said she would like to tell DeLay, “I wish you could reconsider.”
“We needed to get some marching orders” and not a notice of
withdrawal, she said. “It’s just a bad scenario. I feel like an orphan child.”
Marching orders? Orphan? Mental health disorder? What is wrong with
you, Girl?
Sheryl, put on your big
girl panties and deal with it!
This is reason # 346 why
I cannot be a Republican woman. The last darn thing I want from a
politician is "marching orders." The next to the last darn thing I want
from a politician is for him to be my Daddy. Sheryl is creeping me out.
I'm a grown-up.
Plus, my politicians take their marching orders from ME - the citizen, the
taxpayer, the constituent.
Oh Honey, the Belles of
Heaven Republican Women's Club must be about two Prozacs away from ribbing off
their bodices and throwing themselves on Tom's front lawn.
August 9
- Reasons why I think Sugar Land Mayor David Wallace will run as a write-in.
1. Well-known
photo-op addiction.
2. Hasn't
hacked-off enough Republican precinct chairs yet. Willie Johnson of
Brazoria County still likes him.
3. Hair.
People, the man shouldn't waste such good-looking hair!
4. It was Tom
DeLay's final wish for world domination.
5. Excellent
opportunity to inform the world of his very close relationship with
Mark Thatcher.
6. If the State of
City speech costs $100 to attend, can you even imagine the money to be had for
the State of the Congressional District speech?
7. Gets his kicks
from hacking off Terese Raia.
8. If you stick a
pin a David Wallace's ego, he'd fly around the room backward for three full
days. Ego needs feeding. Tell the man he's great, Dude; the man's
hungry.
And the main reason why Shelley Sekula-Gibbs can't be a write-in candidate?
There's no hyphen on the
dial-a-letter E-Slate voting machine the Republicans picked for us. This
ain't touch-screen. You have to dial the letter and then click enter.
It could take all day to write in Juanita Jean Herownself.
My
friend
Muse has a cool take on Shelley of the pink leggin's.
August 8
- Our friend, Sam from Pearland, has a double-scoop A plus genuine American
idea!
I could have solved Tom's problems if
only he had asked me.
1. Tom cops to a plea of money
laundering which makes him a felon and-
2. Now he has to withdraw from the
race and-
3. Now Dubya can pardon him
(following his dad's example) and-
4. Tom can get a job as a talk show
host at KSEV when they switch to their all felon format.
From 6-9 it's the Jon (by
remote) and Tom show talking bout ethics, morality and internet chat room
etiquette.
From 9-11- The Randy
Cunningham show (by remote).
From 11-2 - Rush Limbaugh.
"When I take Viagra I just get taller."
Followed by Bob Ney, Ralph
Reed, Jack Abramhoff-the list is endless.
August 8
- Cute Republican tricks. The latest rumor going around ----
James Bopp Jr., the lawyer who argued the
Republican case, said today that there may still be ways to keep Mr. DeLay off
the ballot. For instance, Mr. Bopp said in a telephone interview, Gov. Rick
Perry of Texas - a Republican - could appoint or nominate Mr. DeLay to another
office, thereby making him ineligible to serve in Congress.
If that happened, another Republican could be named to take Mr. DeLay's place
on the ballot in November, Mr. Bopp said.
Have mercy - these Republicans get real cute when they are forced to follow the
law.
August 8-
Honest to goodness, this is an actual email Tom DeLay sent to me personally at
my personal email address. As has become the Republican trademark, he
takes NO responsibility for his own acts causing this mess. He blames
everyone but himself. Look, if Scalia is too liberal for him, where's he
going?
I am not kidding.
He actually sent this to me. I can prove it.
Dear Susan,
Earlier this year, I
resigned from the U.S. House of Representatives and became a resident of the
State of Virginia to establish my new business, and where I now legally
reside, pay taxes and vote.
This decision was and is irrevocable, which I made clear from Day One.
My action was taken in accordance with Texas law, federal precedent and common
sense. I felt it was my duty to allow Texas Republicans to choose a new
candidate for the Fall Election Ballot.
In November, voters in the 22nd District of Texas deserve a choice between
candidates who actually live in the District, between a Republican and
Democrat, and between those two people whose names should appear on the
ballot.
Unfortunately, the Federal courts have slammed the door shut on a fair ballot
choice between two 22nd District residents representing our two major parties.
The court ruling allows a Democrat – who just moved into this community – to
have his name appear on the ballot, but denies the Republican Party the
opportunity to place a District Republican resident on that same ballot.
Voters should be concerned. While judges are denying Texas voters a fair
choice this Fall, the courts allowed the Democrat Party in New Jersey to
withdraw Robert Torricelli and substitute Frank Lautenberg in a similar case
just weeks before the 2002 U.S. Senate election.
As a Virginia resident, I will take the actions necessary to remove my name
from the Texas ballot. To do anything else would be hypocrisy.
I strongly encourage the Republican Party to take any and all actions
necessary to give Texas voters an up-or-down choice this Fall between two
major party candidates.
Finally, I am honored by the faith and trust you have placed in me as we have
all worked to protect the things that make the 22nd District special.
I appreciate your friendship, prayers and strong support over the years.
Dogged by
scandal, former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay intends to withdraw as a
candidate for Congress, a Republican strategist said today, a step that would
allow the party to field a write-in candidate in hopes of holding his seat
They say that DeLay will make his own announcement this afternoon.
Prediction: it will be unapologetic, filled with self pity, and there will
be at least 5 mentions of God, Jesus, and little children. Although Thelma
is betting that he'll hide behind little puppies this time just for a change of
pace.
Today is Ole Bubba's and
my wedding anniversary. Happy Anniversary, Bubba - here's Tom DeLay's Rump
on a Plate, all gift-wrapped with a bow about the size of Vermont.
I'll be back when Tom
makes it official.
Fort Bend Now will be updating.
And Charles Kuffner is
ahead of the ball, too.
Kuff is rock solid
with his observations, especially about Poor Gary Gillen being caught
flat-footed - again. Poor guy is in way over his head.
Best line yet - thank
you, John - is that DeLay had electile dysfunction.
Best endorsement of Nick Lampson comes from Houston Republican Executive
Committeewoman Kathy Heigler.
“The way I know Tom and how he feels about Nick Lampson,
he’s not going to leave us with no one to vote for,” Haigler said.
Tom DeLay doesn't like Nick Lampson. That's all I needed to know.
August 8 -
Okay, for entertainment purposes only, here's the E-Slate
instructions on how to do a write-in. You have to turn the little knob
and then click it just right for each letter. It's a pains-taking process.
Anyone can declare
themselves a write-in candidate before Aug. 29th with a filing fee of $3125 and
500 signatures. A list of all write in candidates will be posted at all polling
places. Their names will not be on the ballot. It will be up to the voter to
dial in and click each letter of the person's name on the E-slate.
And before the
Republicans start whining, it was the Republican county judge, Bob Hebert, who
push hard for these voting machines.
August 8 -
Cool news - DeLay is pondering
withdrawing and supporting a write-in candidate. Talk about the kiss
of death.
I can just see Sugar Land
Mayor David Wallace salivating all over city hall today. He's going to run
as a write-in as the DeLay endorsed candidate. I wonder what Democratic
smooth-talking dude came up with this plan and sold it to Wallace. Spend
Wallace's money, get Wallace beat, and grin all the way top the bank. You
gotta wonder --- is this the Robert Talton plan?
Mosey on over to
Chapter 146 of the
Texas Election Code and see what laws the Republicans can break over there.
I'll make a deal with you
today. If Wallace runs as the DeLay endorsed write-in, I'll run as the NOT
DeLay endorsed write-in. Two dollars perfectly good American money says
I'll whip Wallace's patootie, and Lampson will still get 90% of the vote.
August 8
- WOO! WOO! Keep those sign orders
coming in, Folks! We're about half an inch away from seeing DeLay go down
in DeFeat! The orders flowed in last night from all over the country.
Thank you guys so much! You're the best customers anywhere. Okay, so
maybe not you Amanda Hunter of Greenville, South Carolina, who has not adopted a
sign yet.
(The Republicans hate
these signs. It's a constant reminder to them of the mess they've made.)
Me and Ole Bubba and some
friends went to the Steakhouse last night to celebrate and have a Margarita or
three. I'll be darned if a local contested Republican candidate didn't
show up about 5 minutes later looking .... well, not near as happy as we were,
that's for sure!
The Republican candidates
here are taking it hard, my friend. Can you imagine having to run on the
same ticket as Tom DeLay? No, you cannot, because you wouldn't get close
enough to him to file your papers to run for office.
Thank you, Nick Anderson
----
August 7 -
Sorry I'm late;
I had to pull myself down from the ceiling.
DeLay must now start
reporting contributions to his legal defense fund. I can't wait to see
them.
Meanwhile, this is our
friend Dr. Doyle talking ---
BLAST that liberal activist Scalia! When will liberals like
him learn that they can't thwart the will of the people? If the people say
they want to flush their votes down the toilet, then have someone pick their
member of Congress with no input from themselves, then he needs to stop all
his tax and spend, welfare-state, gay agenda, pro-abortion, Communist
agitating and get with the program! Even if they didn't say it, or
anything like it, or hint at anything like it, he still needs to stick
to the talking points and rule the right way!
Blasted liberal activists. High time we just abolished judges. And elections,
while we're at it; nothing but stinkin' liberal do-gooding. Our illustrious
forefathers and brave boys in uniform laid down their lives so we could have
government by cash on the barrel, and don't anyone ever forget it!
Dr. Doyle in Nacogdoches
My bet is that DeLay will withdraw from the ballot by the end of next week.
Meanwhile, he's a candidate and must follow all the rules of a candidate.
Scalia was the end of the road for that "I'm just hanging around until we find
an activist judge" song Tom is singing.
The Republicans should
throw DeLay's butt in the Brazos River for what he's done. But then they'd
have to skim nasty for a week.
However, if DeLay stays
in the race, I'm ready to toss his butt in the loser's circle double hard!
August 7 -
Thank the Lord for
Aladamnbama - those folks are on a constant vigilance to keep Texas
politicians from looking so bad!
In Alabama they are
seeking to defend the God-given right of a politician to be a pavement princess!
Attorneys for former Gov. Don Siegelman and former HealthSouth CEO Richard
Scrushy sought to have their government corruption convictions thrown out
Friday, saying the jury's verdict threatens the ability of candidates to raise
campaign money through private donations.
Siegelman and Scrushy were convicted in June following a two-month trial.
Prosecutors said the men were involved in scheme where Siegelman agreed to
appoint Scrushy to an important hospital regulatory board in exchange for
Scrushy arranging $500,000 in donations to Siegelman's campaign for a
statewide lottery.
"If this conviction is upheld, it means in Alabama anytime you make a
contribution politically and later are appointed to any position by the person
receiving the contribution, it will be up to prosecutors to decide if they
want to indict you," said Terry Butts, one of Scrushy's attorneys.
Yep. That conviction is just gonna ruin all my plans to give fifty dollar
contributions to my favorite district clerk candidate.
Siegelman was a Democrat.
He was defeated in the Democratic primary after indictment. Republican
would have re-nominated him and then written wonderful things about him on local
websites!
Kurt Michael, chair of the
Augusta County Republican Party, told us on Friday why he was such a fan of
U.S. Sen. George Allen, R-Va.
“Character of that level is not
found in other people,” he said, referring to Allen, who is running for
re-election against Republican-turned-Democrat Jim Webb.
We are troubled, however, that
Allen is profiting off a drug that many of his evangelical supporters consider
a form of abortion. Allen is staunchly pro-life yet owns stock in Barr
Laboratories, makers of Plan B, or the morning-after contraceptive pill,
according to his financial disclosure report.
Kinda like Tom DeLay
and Barcardi. Republicans have morals out the kazoo until their
checkbook is involved.
August 7
- My friend Hal has a great post about all the reasons
Tom won't
run again.
However, Hal didn't give
the #1 reason - Tom DeLay is a chicken poop coward who cuts and runs in the face
of real danger.
(It sure felt good to say
that.)
Cattle rustler Bob Ney bites the dust.
August 6 -
Oh Trembling Truckload of Pink and Purple Pills - do we ever have a
market for this in Fort Bend County! You could hand these suckers out
by the basket at the courthouse and raise the IQ level to .... well heck, at
least almost normal.
"With mice and fruit flies we were able to
eliminate the loss of short-term memory," Ropers, 62, is quoted
saying in the German newspaper, which has dubbed it the "world's
first anti-stupidity pill."
August 6
- Okay, this is becoming way too much fun. We bought 100 of the
yardsigns and through nationwide attention, we have
enough money to buy 200 more. We are now putting those up for
adoption, so keep those donations coming in.
Meanwhile, in
keeping with the great Democratic tradition of humor and spirit, we are offering
a one-time-only special once-in-a-lifetime offer. You can adopt and 4 by 4
foot Democratic sign directly in the path of the driveway of the Fort Bend
County Republican Party Chairman!
No, I am not joking.
Muse,
Hal,
Bryan, and Mark secured a
location directly across the street from Gary Gillen's home and office. We
decided that since this is such a special offer, we will up the adoption fee to
$100. for this sign. What a bargain! Think of the pleasure it
will bring you to know that Tom DeLay's local party chairman is witnessing the
re-birth of the Democratic party in his hometown. And, you brought it to
his driveway!
This is Hal and Charles erecting the sign this afternoon. Check across the
street at the word "Gillen." That's his pest control business.
(Obviously it didn't work on Charles and Hal.)
Check out
Bryan's blog for reasons why you need to jump on this once in a lifetime
offer. First $100 contribution wins the right to have their name, or
slogan, or high school - IN LARGE LETTERS - on the sign. We'll also send
you a picture and a monthly health report!
August 5 -
Okay, I have a cool Adopt-A-Sign story to tell you.
About six months ago, I heard from a woman in California named Cindy.
Cindy had been reading Juanita’s for a few months and was enjoying it. One day
she discovered the Who We Are page and did a double-take
by recognizing my birth name at the bottom of the page. Cindy and I went to
high school together – we are both Spring Branch Bears.
Cindy immediately emailed me and we discovered, among other things,
that our Mommas sit together in church every Sunday. In Texas, that practically
makes you family.
Cindy adopted a sign and asked that I put, “Spring Branch
Bears – West” on it.
I took the signs to the Democratic Women’s lunch yesterday to ask some
of my girlfriends to plant the adopted signs in their yards. I told them I
would take a picture of them with the sign to send to sign-adopters. My friend
Judy was going through the stack to see if she knew anyone before she picked a
sign to plant.
“I want the Spring Branch Bear sign,” Judy hollered.
Yep. I didn’t know it, but my friend Judy is a Bear, Class of 1960.
So, when three Chick Bears ask you to Vote Democratic, it’d be a wise
thing to do.
I took Judy’s face
out of the picture because I don’t want somebody giving her static for being my
friend. But, I will tell you that she’s a beauty queen and never lost it. So
are Cindy and I for that matter.
August 5 -
I'm kinda half way working on a story about how Bacardi Rum brought down Mel
Gibson,
Jon Matthews, and Tom DeLay for over at Bob's site, when meanwhile Alfredo
reminds us that ---
Bacardi, of course, rewarded him with
$10,000 in soft money.
August 5
- My friend Carol, who is a displaced Texan living in Vermont, has reason to
celebrate ----
I'm counting on Carol to send pictures. When
we loan Willie out, we like to get pictures back!
August 4 -
Let me see if I've got this right: it's newsworthy when a
Democratic County Judge takes campaign donations from vendors to the county
but if a Republican judge does it, it's just business
as usual.
Damn liberal media.
Cameron County
Judge Gilberto Hinojosa on Thursday said political donations did not influence
his vote earlier in the week for an engineering firm seeking to do business
with the county.
Hinojosa, a Democrat who is in the midst of a re-election campaign against
Republican challenger Carlos Cascos, said that political contributions he
received from people associated with L&G Engineering had no bearing on his
decision.
In November last year, Hinojosa collected $10,000 in political contributions
from people associated with the Mercedes-based company, which has been
interested in joining a rotation of firms seeking to provide Cameron County
with geotechnical services.
Ten thousand dollars is only pocket change to our County Judge when it comes to
campaign donations. Cheezzzz....
Just as well that Tom DeLay switched his residency to
the Old Dominion: A Texas judge has squashed his attempt to keep packing a
pistol back home.
The former House majority leader, who gave up his
congressional seat in June,
lost his concealed-weapon permit after he was indicted on campaign
money-laundering charges -- Texas law prohibits anyone facing felony charges
from carrying a gun. DeLay's lawyer filed an appeal in February, but a Fort
Bend County judge quietly dismissed it last month, according to court records,
on what looks to be a bit of a technicality (DeLay didn't send the state
public-safety officials a certified copy of his petition).
DeLay's Austin
attorney Steve Brittain did not return our call, so it's unclear if
DeLay has recourse other than hoping for an acquittal or for the charges to be
dropped. Sadly, his change of address won't help: Virginia also prohibits
folks charged with a felony from packing heat.
August 4
- Just when you thought it was safe to go into the water, former Fort Bend
GOP Party Chairman rises up from his Villa de Disgust in Houston and say
something so incredibility stoopid that is should have burned holes in the
Houston
Chronicle.
Former county chairman Eric Thode said the state party made
a strategic error moving the case from state court to federal court. The party
took the action after the Democrats won a temporary restraining order from a
Democratic state district judge.
Thode said if the
case had stayed in state court, the Republicans would have been victorious on
appeal because the constitutional issues would not have been involved.
First off, Constitutional issues most certainly can be raised in State courts.
Heaven's Sake, I wouldn't expect Thode to know that as a political science
major, but maybe he could have learned if from watching Matlock or something.
Second off, the Fifth
Circuit's ruling said that even following state law, you cannot conclusively
show that DeLay was ineligible.
Third off, and MOST
importantly, maybe the "strategic error" was that Thode - as party chairman -
knew in January that DeLay was going to withdraw after the primary and didn't
tell anybody! Holy Crate of Jelly Rolls! Talk about "strategic
errors."
Thode, like DeLay,
promised to go away. They promised - even bragged about how much they were
going to enjoy leaving - but like gum on your shoe, they won't just go away.
Strategic error. I
still cannot believe he said that.
Feds Closing in on DeLay's
Money Man? By Justin Rood -
August 3, 2006, 4:42 PM
The Feds appear
to be encircling a key figure tying the Abramoff scandal to one of the most
powerful Republicans of the past six years.
National Journal
reports (not available online) that FBI agents have been interviewing former
aides to onetime House Speaker
Tom DeLay (R-TX) about
Ed Buckham,
formerly one of DeLay's closest aides. They have also spoken with former
advisors to Buckham's sham charity, the
U.S. Family Network, about
Buckham.
[ ... ]
Who could Buckham
implicate? DeLay, for starters. But he's got ties to other lawmakers too, who
would far prefer Buckham to be on their bus instead of throwing them under it.
And let's not forget that as the head of the powerful lobby firm the
Alexander Strategy Group, Buckham did work for accused
Duke Cunningham briber
Brent Wilkes -- and dozens of the best-funded interests in Washington, D.C
August 3 - Harvey Kronberg (subscription only
and I have one) is saying that the Texas GOP will appeal straight to the
Supremes. The Supreme assigned to hear emergency petitions from the 5th
Circuit is Antonin Scalia.
This is a Hail Mary pass
by the Texas GOP and most folks think it's doomed attempt to whine and crime
their way into somebody's heart.
I am so sick of the
GOPper's simpering argument that Democrats are trying to steal this election.
Today's decision made it very clear that the Texas GOP are the ones trying to
steal the election away from the primary voters.
Texas Democratic Chairman
Boyd Richie summed it up pretty well when he said today,
"I think it’s pretty obvious Republicans believed they have
a liability in DeLay," Richie said. "Why would they be doing this if they
thought he was a viable (candidate)?"
August 3 -
You know, one of the things I forgot to mention as I was posting stuff below
like crazy was that the Republican Party of Texas, Attorney General Greg Abbott,
and the Secretary of State's office got totally poured-out in this opinion, but
not as badly as David Wallace did.
I mean, the Republican
Party of Texas didn't even win one little part of the argument. They got
clobbered so bad that they'll have to unzip their pants to see daylight.
It was embarrassing.
And then when the court
said of the SOS and Greg Abbott,
"An amicus curiae generally cannot expand
on the scope of an appeal to implicate issues that have not been presented by
parties to the appeal . . .Therefore we will not consider this issue."
Ouch! That's a slap down.
But, poor Ole Sugar Land
Mayor Mayor David Wallace may or may not have spent
$10,000 of his friends' hard earned money on a amicus brief to the Fifth
Circuit, but it got totally ignored. I mean, the only reference to it in
the entire decision was a CC copy sent to Wallace's lawyer.
I got a copy of the
opinion for free within minutes of it being released and I ain't even the fancy
pants mayor of Sugar Land.
Maybe it was because
lawyers generally don't use briefs to take pot shots at their political
opponents. Or maybe it was because it turned on some crazzzzy argument
that Tom DeLay could still be a write-in candidate - an argument nobody seems to
understand. Or maybe it was because Wallace's lawyer spent more hours
trying to not list the brief at the FEC than he did actually writing the brief.
Whatever.
But the Fifth Circuit
ignored him. They didn't take him seriously. Son, that's bad.
August 3 -
1:15 The Fifth Circuit ruled in favor of the Democrats. Tom must be
thrilled. Now he has a second opportunity to take campaign donations under
false pretenses.
The score was 3 - 0. The GOPper writ twits
say they will ask for a full panel hearing, but they've lost at every level so
they're just running up legal bills now. I mean, not that it would be
unusual for Republicans to run up bills - have you see the national debt lately?
View from 22 - okay, pretty funny but also some good legal analysis.
Fort Bend Now is reporting that the GOP says it's going straight to the
Supremes, gonna by-pass the en banc Fifth Circuit.
My favorite quote from the opinion?
“….we fail to see how removing DeLay from
the ballot would protect the voters, inasmuch as it was the voters themselves
who selected DeLay as the Republican candidate for the general election.”
Last
month,
Tom DeLay told his supporters that he was going to run if he has to stay on
the ballot. Last night on Hannity
and Colmes, DeLay said (and this is an exact quote)
"The courts look like they want to keep me on the ballot.
The Democrats don't want to give our people a choice. And if I'm forced to be
on the ballot, I'm going to be on the ballot"
The man obviously regrets his decision to step down.
Let the man change his mind and run. Please.
I thought some of you might be interested in
Nick Lampson's reaction to today's decision ---
Lampson stated,
“Our country is at war, we are facing issues like unsecured borders,
skyrocketing foreign debt, and we are in the middle of hurricane season. Yet,
Texas’s 22nd Congressional District currently has no voice in the House of
Representatives. Texans have waited long enough for an outcome on this case.
It is now time for us to move ahead with the election. Regardless of what Tom
DeLay decides to do, I look forward to a vigorous issue-based campaign.”
August 3
- Oh my, a "French" kiss of death for
Joe Lieberman. I'm not joking about this: Tom DeLay says he
would support Joe Lieberman!
But, no wait, listen up
for the good part. DeLay also adds, "But I don't think I get to vote in
that one."
Why the fool tarnation
not, Tom? Dude, you claim residency in about three states already. Let's
see, you live here (saw ya at Denis's Seafood on Westheimer last Sunday), claim
to live in Virginia, but think you live in
Northern California.
What's one more state?
Dude, Connecticut ain't that picky. Besides, you can probably vote in every
state since
you ARE the federal government.
I
guess the Joementum just hit a speed bump.
August 2 -
Look, I'm not saying that the far rightwing has completely gone bonkers and
thinks reality is a fashion faux pas, but maybe NewMax could have used some
better timing for yesterday's front page.
Reality vs. NewsMax
Sometime
when we haven't got anything else to do, remind me to tell you the story of the
Republican woman who sent me an email in horror that John Kerry was reported to
have shot the bird at some guy who was following him around yelling that Kerry
had faked his entire military record, including the fact that he was ever in the
military.
This was during the last
Presidential campaign and this Republican woman was mortified that a
Presidential candidate would have so little self-control. She felt that
the incident alone was reason for me to vote for Bush. I disagreed.
She lectured me.
This Republican woman
cited New Max as her source for the story. Of course, it never happened.
New Max just took some crazy dude's word for it and worked themselves in a
dither over John Kerry shooting the bird.
I haven't heard from this
woman since Cheney shot a man instead of a bird. Good Lord, I would think
Kerry's way was far preferable.
And, of course, I didn't hear
from her when Cheney scared the bejebbers out of Pat Leahy or when Bush
mortified Miss Manners.
Ah, Republicans - gotta
love 'em.
Anyway, remind me to tell
you that story some time.
August 2 -
We've got
rabid bats in the county. I personally think it was a Rosenberg City
Councilman, but they swear up and down it was a bat.
The most significant clue that an animal which is normally
nocturnal might be rabid is daytime activity, she said. Another clue is
abnormal neurological activity, such as wobbling or possibly walking in
circles or having a dazed appearance.
Thelma shot her second husband once, or maybe it was twice, I don't remember,
for acting the same way. Come to find out, he was just drunk again, but
Thelma is not a woman who takes chances over things like that.
"He was comin' at me with
a funny look in his eye, foam on his upper lip, and I ain't even gonna tell you
what he had in his pocket," went her Grand Jury testimony. They didn't
indict, of course, under Chapter 3, Section 2.07 of the Texas Penal Code which
allows that it's an affirmative defense to shoot something that don't look
right.
I love this state.
August 2
- You know, the farmers down the Needville never would support Tom DeLay.
He came down for the
Harvest Festival last October for the first time anyone can remember, and
embarrassed himself badly. That visit was probably his first hint that things
weren’t as peachy as he’d hoped back home.
Tom would have been wrong to make any judgments based on that one visit. As one
prominent farmer told me, “I don’t like him and always have.”
The farmers in Fort Bend
were no friend of Tom DeLay’s because they favored trade with Cuba. We grow
lotsa rice here and Cuba would be a perfect market. It doesn’t matter a flip to
farmers if the homosexuals get married or not when they can’t make the tractor
payment because the rice isn’t selling. Sadly for the local farmers, Texas A&M
University won’t defer payment on your daughter’s tuition based on your
obsession with what people do behind closed doors.
Needville farmer are
pretty smart and they figured out early on that Tom DeLay’s hatred of Cuba
wasn’t based on anything to do with communists. Tom DeLay’s hatred of Cuba was
based on business dealings that benefited Tom DeLay, not Needville farmers.
That didn’t set right with them and they never voted for Tom.
So now, there’s some
farmers in Needville double happy this morning. They look at the prospect of
getting rid of both Tom DeLay and Fidel Castro. “Hell, that’s better’n rain,”
one told me late last night.
Fort Bend County may not
be the only place on earth where "Have You Had Your Rice Today?" is the favorite
bumper sticker, but there's probably ain't many places on the list.
Let’s sell some rice!
August 1 -
Okay, no more Miss Nice Juanita. I'm being mean again today. I just
posted Commissioner Andy Meyer's campaign contribution and
expenditure report. To no one's surprise, Andy spent most of his $66,850 in
tax-free legalized kickbacks on his car and his campaign manager's (read: son)
car.
I wish I had $125,000 a
year in tax-free money to spend any way I'd like. I guess I need me one of
those public servant jobs, huh?
I checked real close but
it doesn't not appear that Super DeLux Brand Christian Andy Meyers is tithing
his tax-free windfall to his church. I guess he ain't telling God about
this money either. I dunno, maybe Andy is planning on giving Sweet Jesus a
kickback when He returns.
July 31-
Our regular customer Alfredo sums-up in a few words why DeLay will NOT run
for re-election, even if his name remains on the ballot.
Here's an interesting question. If the Fifth
Circuit rules that DeLay can't be replaced, he can either remain a candidate
or withdraw, ceding the seat to Nick Lampson. If he remains a candidate, does
he then have to disclose all the contributions that were made to his new legal
defense fund after he resigned from Congress? If so, that would mean that Bob
Perry couldn't pay off DeLay's legal bills without it eventually becoming
public.
NEW ORLEANS — A federal appeals panel indicated today that
the ability of Republicans to replace former U.S. Rep. Tom Delay on the ballot
rests on whether there was "conclusive" evidence that he had moved to
Virginia.
The three-judge panel of the 5th Circuit
Court of Appeals did not indicate when it would rule. But questions from the
panel seemed to favor the Democrats' position that Republican officials could
not declare DeLay ineligible for office based on residency prior to election
day.
And Paul Burka was there, too. He says, "I
attended the oral arguments, and I thought the Democrats had the much the better
of the give and take." Well, duh.
I get a kick out of the
Republicans claiming that the Democrats are trying to "steal the election."
Whoa, Partner, pull in on them reins. Republicans gave it away - there
ain't no stealing involved. One of their own county chairmen claims he
knew in January that DeLay was going to withdraw after the primary. They
knew this was going to happen.
Bigger question involved
here: under the way the Republicans want the law to be, a state party chairman
could declare any primary election winner she doesn't like as "ineligible" a
couple of months before election and have that candidate replaced by a backroom
gang of four people.
Heckfire, even a
Republican federal judge called what they're doing a "fraud."
Since even the Republican judge on the Fifth Circuit
agrees that you can't scam the public by replacing losing candidates, the
Republicans will probably have to rest their hopes on a Bush V. Gore Supreme
Court.
I'm still grinning.
And if it takes someone
finally standing up to these Republican scam artists and saying NO in a very
loud voice, just give me a call.
July 31
- If you see me walking around with a silly grin on my face all day today,
it's not that I did anything bad, it's that I'm
thinking about this ----
Texas Republicans expect Mr. DeLay to mount an aggressive campaign if the
appeals court forces him to stay on the ballot. And there's irony in the fact
that Democrats, who fought so hard to rout him from Congress, are fighting so
hard to keep him on the ballot.
“I
could be the only man in America that is forced to run when I don't want to
run," Mr. DeLay said last week on Fox News.
And if he is forced to stay on the ballot, and manages to collect more votes
than Mr. Lampson?
“I
guess I'll have to serve," he said.
Just the thought of Tom stealing more money from Republicans while fibbing about
his intentions is just more fun than I can hide inside. Tom does more
damage to Republicans on a lazy afternoon than I can do in a lifetime.
July 30
- This is a map of where the last 500 visitors to this website came from.
Contrary to what some folks would have you believe,
no one - not even The Amazing Juanita - can tell who you are when you come to
their website. However, I can sometimes tell what city or continent you're
on.
HOLY COW! Sweet
turnips in the pot a'boiling! I have a whole mess of customers from foreign
states!
And, from what I hear,
most of you aren't too fond of Tom DeLay and his cronies here in my beautiful
county. A lot of you want to help get rid of the corruption and
incompetence that has become the Republican party. I found a way for you
to do it.
You can ADOPT A SIGN. No kidding - this ain't a
joke. I'm serious as Sunday School. For as little as $10, you can make a
difference right here in Tom DeLay's home county.
Hard choice. It boiled down to the blob thing and Republican County
Judge Bob Hebert's gall.
From the article ---
An enormous amoeba-like structure 200
million light-years wide and made up of galaxies and large bubbles of gas is
the largest known object in the universe, scientists say.
I dunno - the bubbles of gas thing -- it could be Hebert's gall after all.
For those of you keeping
score, Thelma's hair came in third.
July 29
- When I stand on the porch of my upstairs balcony, I can see the smoke
stacks of this plant spewing something in my air. For years, our county
officials kept telling me if wouldn't hurt me, but I didn't think it would help
me none at all either. I can clearly recall hollering at one county judge,
"Well, that don't look like no damn health food store to me!"
Bob Dunn did a great job
bringing us
an important story.
NRG Energy Inc.’s W.A. Parish plant in Fort Bend County has been ranked among
the nation’s worst air-polluting power plants in terms of carbon dioxide,
mercury and sulfur dioxide.
The plant, next to Smithers Lake southwest of the town of Thompsons, was
ranked by the Environmental Integrity Project as 6th-worst among the nation’s
power plants in terms of total carbon dioxide pollution emitted; No. 16 in
terms of total mercury pollution; and No. 48 in terms of total sulfur dioxide
pollution.
Almost as stunning as Bob's story, however, is watching the Republicans try to
defend pollution as a good thing. Why, they'd take their grandchildren
down there and let them eat some mercury on a bun and make sulfur sandcastles
just to make us "liberals" look like idiots for trying to take care of God's
green earth.
When we moved here 30
years ago, you couldn't see the air. Now you can. We don't have
faith-based breathing any more.
Hey, a couple of y'all
form a posse and go on over to
Bob's site and defend our right to have invisible air.
July 28
- Jared Woodfill, the Harris County Republican Party Chairman, is just
goofy. No, I'm serious. He's got a kink in his carburetor hose or
something. Got it floored in neutral. I dunno. Whatever it is,
it ain't something you'd wish on anybody you like.
Okay, remember back to
when Woodfill snuck on the Harris County Republican website with a little "petition"
to the federal judges hearing the case against allowing a few Republican party
hacks to replace Tom DeLay's name - the Republican voter's choice! - on
the ballot.
Next thing we know, Jared admits it's not like a real petition. Nah,
it's just a little pretend petition once it became public and is an
obvious violation of about eleventeen of the Canon of Ethics for
lawyers. Woodfill is a writ twit.
Apparently, even though
the website and their email to the faithful said "Please stand with us
today. Sign our petition which will be delivered directly to the 5th
Circuit," it was just ... well, kinda like maybe Lassie or Hogan's
Heroes or something. You know, not real.
I guess the "pretend"
excuse didn't work out as well as Woodfill had wagered, and
Houston Chronicle jumped on him like flies on a garbage truck.
The
credibility of American justice rests on judges' impartiality, both
real and perceived. Attempts to influence the outcome — whether
through petitions or briefs filed by elected officials seeking
partisan advantage — only damage that credibility.
So, in a ride seldom seen anywhere outside of a county fair,
Woodfill spun around, jumped down, and now claims the petition was
merely a First Amendment exercise.
In a
letter to the editor of the Chronicle, Woodfill tests the limits of
pomposity on paper to see if it'll eat right through the newsprint and
ruin somebody's tabletop. It was kinda fun to see another
Republican caught with his hand in the cookie jar wrap himself in the
flag and snarl at anyone who would dare to see either his hand or the
cookie jar.
First off, in a memory
lapse that would send most people scampering for a head MRI, Woodfill
writes ...
It's clear to most that the Democrats can't win the
District 22 seat at the ballot box, so they're trying to do it at the
courthouse.
Obviously Woodfill wasn't born yet during Bush v. Gore or he wouldn't be
talking about Democrats, ballot boxes, and courts. Yo, Jared, get
down off that high horse before you fall and break a body part that
ain't already malfunctioning real badly.
Second off, nobody but
Jared needs reminding that DeLay pulled out of the race not because he
was moving. Oh no. DeLay pulled out of the race because all
polling showed him getting beat so badly that his great-grandchildren
would be born shaking.
But Jared ain't through
with the Fool's Tour yet....
...it
is that same First Amendment that provides the freedom for a petition
by Republicans to express their views — regardless of whether it is an
editorial, an article or a petition drive. In a free society, people
should be allowed to voice their opinions on relevant issues.
I do not know what Jared did with the money his Momma gave him to go to
law school. Ex parte communications with a judge do not fall under
the First Amendment. Ever.
One last thing Woodfill
says is .....
The Harris County Republican Party is an
organization that represents voters.
Thank God I'm not one of them.
One other thing on my plate today. Republicans hate courts and
judges. Tom DeLay tried to impeach judges who disagreed with him.
Republicans are always whining about how awful the judicial system is.
So, how exactly is it that a Republican like David Wallace file a Friend
of the Court (amicus
curiae) brief? Think about it.
July
27 - Okay, so I don't know who did this but I have my
suspicions, although he denies it. But if you go to
www.delayfoundation.com
.... uh, welcome back here.
A couple of months ago, I
made notice that
www.delayfoundation.ORG had kinda closed for business once people
realized that you can't trust Tom DeLay with your money. Well, and
that and the federal and state courts don't let you hide behind little
children when you're sitting in the witness box. So, they took
down their website.
I didn't make the
www.delayfoundation.COM
website lead you back here, but I do think it's funny. Some guy
who didn't think it's one little bit funny sent me the link. I
can't print the email he sent me here because it had more f words than a
Dick Cheney hunting trip.
July
27 - There's a great Email from Hell today from Dennis, so go
check it out at the bottom.
Also,
our friend Muse has found some high-level snooping from Attorney
General Greg Abbott's office. Muse is a regular customer at the
beauty shop, and not just a virtual customer.
July 26
- You know, it's so much fun to trip-up Sugar Land Mayor and Congressional
Wannabe David Wallace. Okay, so it's not so much actual fun - it's just
that it's so darned easy because he wants to be just like Tom DeLay. Okay,
so it's fun. I admit it. Remember when David
Wallace was trying to pander to all the Gang of Four members (who will name
DeLay's Republican replacement candidate) by announcing what a cool guy he was
with this campaign account and how
he was going to spend $10,000 to hire a fancy Houston law firm to file an
amicus brief at the Federal Appeals Court? Ain't David swell? There
he is spending his own campaign money.
Wallace said
it will cost about $10,000 of his campaign contributions to fund the research
and file the brief. He filed his first congressional campaign report last week
and admits that even if his bid for DeLay’s congressional seat is
unsuccessful, he plans on seeking a congressional seat in 18 months.
And then remember how we gave you a heads-up
that David Wallace's campaign treasurer, Andrius R. Kontrimas, also happens to
be a lawyer for the firm of Jenkens and Gilcrest, the firm who wrote the amicus
brief for Wallace? Well, well, well.
Lookie here. Here's a nice little five
page letter from Andrius R. Kontrimas to the Federal Elections Commission
seeking a opinion and pleading that he thinks the amicus brief should be counted
as pro bono work and not counted as a contribution to the campaign or a legal
defense fund. Bottom line: Wallace had no intention of paying for
the brief, even from his campaign account. Fun statement for those
who don't want to wade through the whole letter.
Yeah, it says "Importantly, while Wallace is a leading contender for the
nomination in the event of reversal, there is no assurance that he will be
nominated by the executive committee." Leading contender? Since
when? And, I'll bet ya that he didn't use the last part of that sentence
when he claimed "standing" before the 5th Circuit.
Hey, David, you broke the
first two laws of politics:
1) Never lie about
things that can proven with public record, and
2) While there are
some reporters who will simply reprint your press releases and kiss your
hindside without question, there are others who will purposefully go out and
check every word you say.
I am certain that I'll have some more comments about this later, but I just
wanted to get it out there for the world to see.
Texas public officials are hiding sources of income and
potential conflicts of interest by calling themselves consultants on state
financial disclosure forms, and an investigation into "obvious misconduct" by
one official was thwarted by the practice, a Travis County grand jury has
complained in a two-page report.
The 390th grand jury, which investigated public corruption and
other crimes for eight months, expressed outrage that lax laws and
interpretations allow state officials to hide their income
[ ...]
The grand jury concluded in its report to District Judge Julie
Kocurek that the Legislature should consider eliminating the Ethics Commission
because it is a waste of taxpayers' money
Now how the Grand Jury discovered that the Lege is writing laws to protect
themselves didn't take a Joe Friday. Heck, it didn't even take an
Inspector Clouseau.
On an upside this rainy morning, at least I shamed
Republican Party Chairman Gary Gillen into filing his reports
electronically. Now if I could just do the same with the county
commissioners .....
July 25
- Well, if this ain't just about the dangest thing I've ever seen since
Uncle Jake robbed the Stop 'n Stay with a putty knife and an electric back
massager, I don't know what is. (By the way, Uncle Jake imbibes.) The Lone Star Project is
reporting today that our Congressquitter Tom DeLay might not be following all
the laws since he left office. I'm shocked, shocked I tell you.
Delay
Used Government Staff for Politics AFTER
Leaving Congress Email
details government staff helping DeLay explain ballot charade
Almost a week after
Tom DeLay delivered a bitter and partisan farewell speech from the House floor
and abandoned his 22nd District Texas House seat, he was still
using government staff and equipment to craft political strategy and respond
to media inquiries.
Email reveals government staff still working for DeLay
An email sent by Tom DeLay’s former Deputy Chief of Staff Dan Flynn lays out
the strategy and message to deal with media inquiries regarding the Texas
Democratic Party’s lawsuit challenging Republican efforts to declare DeLay
ineligible and replace him on the ballot. The communication discussed
using government resources to assist the DeLay campaign
and the Republican Party of Texas.
July 24
- Okay, I've started scanning and posting the campaign
finance reports and you're going to hear some Republicans yelping. I
got a hefty dose of mean in my veins last week when I took a look at some of
these.
I'm still in the process
of scanning - so check back every now and then. I'm doing the
commissioners next.
Bob Hebert, our county judge, raised $55,000 (about 75% of it from people
who want something from the county and/or don't even live here) and spent
$70,000 to make himself look charitable with your money. This
self-described "independently wealthy" man still has $120,000 of tax-free money
in his campaign account and he doesn't even have an opponent.
July 23
- Remember Gilda Radner on Saturday Night Live saying, "Never mind"?
Well,
Bob Dunn over at fortbendnow.com does it even better.
Calling
Jared Woodfill over at the Harris County Republican Party
about his "petition" to the 5th Circuit, Dunn discovers that Woodfill's written
promise that the petition "will be delivered directly to the 5th Circuit" isn't
worth the screen it's written on.
“There will be no attempt to actually talk to the judges per se,” Woodfill
said. It’s not going to be delivered to the front steps of the courthouse.
Well, I guess it all depends what the meaning of will will be, huh?
Woodfill offers no alternative delivery site, but I sure hope he's not thinking
about the front steps of the beauty shop.
I love Bob's writing -
where else in Texas would you find the phrase "panoply
of political irony."
July 22-
The Fifth Circuit has set Texas Democratic Party v. Benkiser, the case
concerning the replacement of Congressman Tom DeLay, for oral argument at 10:00
a.m. Monday, July 31 in New Orleans.
Maybe David Wallace,
Crazy Robert Talton and the rest of the gang should learn the lyrics of a great
Randy Newman song ----
What has happened down here, is the winds have
changed
Clouds roll in from the north and it started to rain
It rained real hard, and it rained for a real long time
Six feet of water in the streets of Evangeline
The river rose all day, the river rose all night
Some people got lost in the flood, some people got away alright
The river had busted through clear down to Plaquemines
Six feet of water in the streets of Evangeline
Louisiana, Louisiana
They're trying to wash us away, they're trying to wash us away
Oh Louisiana, Louisiana
They're trying to wash us away, they're trying to wash us away
July 21
-
There's more fun over on View from 22. However, making fun of Texas
Attorney General Greg Abbott almost doesn't count because it's like shooting
fish in a barrel. Plus, only in Texas would you see the term "cow-towing"
used to mean ingratiating. Must be a cross
between cow tipping and some Japanese word.
The same blog has some
fun with David Wallace, which is becoming a local pastime. By the way, at
lunch today, I learned that Wallace's campaign treasurer,
Andrius R Kontrimas, works for the law firm of Jenkens and Gilchrist, the
very same law firm Wallace paid $10,000 to write a brief to the federal court.
And, page 67 of
Wallace's report to the FEC shows a $4,853 donation from the same Jenkens
and Gilchrist in April of 2006.
Nothing illegal in that
- just more money being passed around between friends, and some smoke and
mirrors. They give Wallace money, he gives it back, they give back to him
-- looks like Wallace is raising a lot of money but it's all the same check,
just handed back and forth.
You've got to admire a president who can say the 's' word with
his mouth full of lunch and still be understood. Being able to cuss cogently
and dine simultaneously is one way we define proper enunciation in Texas.
Bush did make one grammatical error in the use of the 's' word,
however: He left out the proper Texas modifier — bull.
I agree with John, the s word is never proper without the b word in front of it.
We love the bs word here in Texas. It's a 4 syllable word for us. We
don't even consider it a cuss word around here. In the proper context, you
can even use it in church.
We love the bs word so
much that we even sing songs about it, as anyone who has ever heard a proper
rendition of "Cotton Eyed Joe" knows for a fact.
When my friend Ben
Denham, the last decent county commissioner we had, was dying, someone had the
gall to say to Ben, "think of it this way, Ben, soon you'll be dancing on the
streets of gold in heaven."
Ole Ben cocked his head
to one side, whittled his eyes about half open, and replied, "Well it damn well
better be the Cotton Eyed Joe, because bs is high on my list right about now."
Ben, of course, said the whole word.
I miss Ole Ben something
fierce.
I can't say the bs word
here because my Momma comes to this website and she can still catch me and whip
my patootie until it shines in the dark. So, Momma, I'll just call it like
it is --- Caca del Toro.
The fundraising organization that helped vault former Rep.
Tom DeLay to GOP leadership and distributed election money to numerous fellow
Republicans has been fined for campaign finance violations and is shutting
down.
Under an agreement
with the Federal Election Commission, Americans for a Republican Majority's
political action committee agreed to pay a $115,000 fine and close.
Now, keep in mind that this fine was over improperly using money, failing to
report $74,295 in financial activity in 2001 and $166,340 in 2002, and failing
to report debts and
obligations totaling $322,306 to 25 vendors.
However, this is the good
part ---
Dani DeLay Ferro, DeLay's spokeswoman and his daughter, said
the fine and shutdown of ARMPAC were voluntary. The audit "concerns highly
technical FEC reporting rules, which due to their complexity, the commission
has since reformed and simplified," Ferro said in a statement.
Technical? Did she really say "complexity?" Oh Dani, get out of
the sauna, Honey. (see below)
--ARMPAC improperly used over $200,000 in soft money to pay
for federal election activity. In particular, ARMPAC improperly used over
$120,000 in soft money to pay for GOTV activities in Texas immediately before
the 2002 general election.
“the conciliation agreement reached between the FEC and
ARMPAC shows a clear pattern of abuse of campaign finance laws.” Sloan
continued, “on a disturbingly regular basis we learn that former House
Majority Leader DeLay violated the law. From the Jack Abramoff scandal to the
violations of Texas campaign finance laws, to Rep. DeLay’s misuse of
charitable organizations, the list seems endless. It is time for federal
investigators to step in and undertake a thorough investigation of Rep.
DeLay’s financial dealings so that the public can learn the true extent of
Rep. DeLay’s illegal activities and he can be held accountable.”
So
the next time a local Republican asks what Tom DeLay did wrong, here's a
PDF of the FEC document showing what Tom did wrong!
Here's a PDF of DeLay's original reply. Basically, it says,
"I broke the law, but I shouldn't be
fined because there's a Vast Left Wing Conspiracy out to get me." You
know, I'm gonna have to remember that if I ever get stopped by a police officer
for speeding in Sugar Land. Even if I was doing 55 in a 35, the Mayor
doesn't like me so they can't fine me. Please feel free to use that excuse
yourself. It's just another free friendly customer service we offer here
at The World's Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.
Extra little tidbits:
Now, I ain't saying that
the fellas over at ARMPAC were kinky or that maybe they weren't behaving
properly away from home or anything like that. However, inquiring minds
might want to know why ARMPAC's Chris Perkins was buying a dress shirt and a bra
at Dillard's in
Wichita, Kansas on July 29, 2002
And then there's James
Ellis using an ARMPAC credit card at Jack Abramoff's Signature's restaurant....
And then there's Dani Ferro, Tom's daughter. Only the best, Darlin'.
One night at the Homestead
Resort in Virginia for $332. after a tiring stay at the
Swissoltel in Dee Cee. for $5.417.66. The credit card shows a post
office charge in Sugar Land on July 16th so it appears that the Swissotel
charges were for no more than 8 days.
Life is tough on ARMPAC's credit card.
July 19
-
Okay, so this is funny. Plus, the picture of slick-haired Harris
County Chair Jared Woodfill and his grin while prissily displaying his gold
jewelry makes the visit worthwhile. You know the man is secretly upset that he
can't wear earrings and be a Republican.
July 19
- Under the "Republicans Have Less Shame Than a Pavement Princess"
Department, Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott, who is about as worthless
as cornflake recipes, is going to file a amicus brief in favor the ----- hold
on, now ----
the Texas Republican Party.
There are incest laws in
this State, dammit.
Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott plans to ask the 5th
Circuit Court of Appeals to overturn a federal judge's ruling that Republicans
cannot replace former U.S. Rep. Tom DeLay on the ballot, a Democratic lawyer
involved in the case said today.
Democratic Party General Counsel Chad Dunn said Abbott's
solicitor general, Ted Cruz, told him he will file an amicus brief on Friday
defending the state election law that Republicans want to use to replace
DeLay.
Abbott spokeswoman Angela Hale confirmed that Cruz will file a
friend-of-the-court brief on either Thursday or Friday.
I know that I am probably the only person in the Texas who is amused at how
every Republican in this State is scared to death of little tiny five foot tall
Tom DeLay, even now that he's been de-hammered, if ya know what I mean.
As real lawyers are
pointing out to goofy AG Abbott ....
Dunn said the Texas Democratic Party in its lawsuit against
Benkiser has never claimed the state election law is unconstitutional, just
that she wants to apply it in an unconstitutional manner.
"It's going to be interesting if the
attorney general files a brief with the 5th Circuit saying, 'We encourage
candidates to manipulate the election law,'" Dunn said.
July 19
- No, I am NOT kidding. You keep emailing me asking if that website I
sent you to yesterday is satire. NO, it is not.
The Republicans sent
emails all over the 22nd Congressional District trying to get their supporters
to improperly influence federal judges. They want a half-dozen Republican
party hacks to over-rule the wishes of the GOP primary voters on who should be
their candidate.
I have no idea why the
petition doesn't include words like, "Hey, remember how Tom DeLay was going to
impeach federal judges who didn't rule the way Tom likes? Well, suckers,
we still have a list and room for your name."
Click on the image to go to the page. I signed it "Atilla" from the city
of Hun and said, "Dear Judges: I think the Republicans are trying to
improperly influence you. I'd be mad at them if I was you." Please
feel free to add your comments. (But, please keep it clean because my
Momma comes to this website.)
Remember - Democrats
aren't stalling the process. Democrats agreed with Republican Judge Sam
Sparks that Tom DeLay is the nominee of the people.
However, the biggest
thing to remember by all this is that Republican will lie, lie, lie to get their
way.
July 18
- If Republicans want judges not to be activist and to rule in accordance
with the Constitution, why - oh why - are they asking their people to
sign a petition to judges on the 5th circuit? A petition. No,
I'm not kidding. Go look.
This may fall under the
category of improper influencing a judge. This whole petition may be
illegal.
The "Liberal" Democrats
are not preventing this process. The Democrats believe that the
Republicans in the 22nd district have made their choice and that choice is Tom
DeLay. The "Liberal" Democrats believe that the voice of the voters should
be heard over the voices of a few political hacks.
The "Liberal" Democrats
did not appeal the decision of the Republican judge in this case. The
"Totally Twit" Republicans did that.
Jared Woodfill is a
two-faced, lying, goofy-lookin' son of a motherless goat. And you
can tell his mother that I said that.
July 18
- The next time you hear a local Republican buy the Tom DeLay line that he
just might run again full force and whip some Democratic butt, smile gently at
their pitiful souls, shake your head gently and remember that they don't
subscribe to
Roll Call.
Ex-Rep. Tom DeLay (R-Texas) has now paid out more than $1.7 million in legal
bills resulting from a pair of investigations over the past two years,
including close to a half-million dollars in the second quarter of 2006 as he
was retiring from the House.
..............
Some
have suggested that he would wage an active campaign to defeat Lampson with
the understanding that he would not then accept the seat, forcing a special
election late this year or early next.
However, that likely
would force DeLay to abandon his plan of using his remaining campaign cash to
pay legal bills.
And if he decided to run
and take the seat, he’d once again be restricted to $5,000 donations to his
legal defense fund if he were to win.
He's not going to run and risk the ability to raise unlimited contributions to
his legal defense fund. Simply put, he can't afford to run. I'm
telling you, that little outburst at the Tribute was drunk talk. He knows
better, but the idiots in the audience were ... well, idiots in the audience.
July 17
- The Belles of Heaven Republican Women's Club, Fort Bend County Chapter,
has asked me to announce that printing in the newspaper that
President Bush said the s-word amounts to treason and aids the enemy.
The enemy, in this case, just happens to be you and me.
The Washington Post
should be ashamed of itself, the Belles said in a press release this morning,
for letting the enemy know that Bush cusses like a barmaid at Crazy Manny's Ice
House. They have vowed not to read the Washington Post ... or anything
else, for that matter.
July 17
- Tom
DeLay’s ARMPAC is now really, really broke. They can’t even afford to be
counted as poor. They are down there under dirt. Its
official cash on hand is a negative $6,000 with over $100,000 in debts.
And this is really cute.
DeLay's campaign committee bought ARMPAC's mailing list for $34,000 - the only
money that ARMPAC took in during the second quarter. That allowed ARMPAC to pay
Jim Ellis - who could testify against DeLay - $3,000 in "salary" (hush money?)
July 16
- Okay, our friend Alfredo has been looking at
Tom DeLay's FEC filings and some really fun stuff has come up.
DeLay has paid almost
half a million dollars to six different law firms, including $265,000 to
McDermott, Will & Emery. Ah ha!, so that’s where most of Davis Wallace’s one
million dollars in campaign donations went!
Check out the last
expenditure - $32,000 for a final car payment on April 25th. So how come Tom
gets to buy a luxury automobile with all that money he told people he was
spending on yardsigns? And, by the way, didn't Ronnie Earle subpoena some
records about a campaign car? And how come Tom DeLay needs a campaign car when
he resigned on April 3rd? What’s he campaigning for?
One of my personal
favorites is a $450. “strategy meeting” at Ruth Chris’ steakhouse, on May 22 –
six weeks after he resigned. However, looking back, maybe it was about
DeLay’s ill-fated write-in campaign for city council of Alexandra,
Virginia. Winning would have allowed him to collect more campaign funds for
lawyers.
City Councilman DeLay? Now that he has
settled on Alexandria, Va., as his permanent residence — a neat way to
disqualify himself from the ballot in the 22nd Congressional district of Texas
— Rep. Tom DeLay (R-Texas) is exploring his options for the future. Some folks
in Alexandria apparently hope that will include running for local office.
HOH recently discovered an e-mail that was circulating in GOP circles just
prior to the Alexandria City Council election earlier this month. The subject:
“Tom DeLay for Alexandria City Council.”
And then there was $12,000 for polling on April 1st. He resigned on
April 3rd. Think maybe the polls showed him polling about the same
as a flesh eating bacteria?
Tom’s best paid staff
member? His daughter, of course. Worst paid?
Leonard Cash – air horny guy!
More to
come ----
July 14
– I have a big ole humongous crush on Sugar Land Mayor David “Just-Like-Tom”
Wallace. I do. He makes my life so easy. I just love him.
As most of you remember,
last month David Wallace sent out a
press release saying he’d raised a measly $200,000 of the one million
dollars he was going to raise to beat Nick Lampson. But since David couldn’t
spell measly, he used other words which ended-up making it sound like he did
something glorious by raising $200,000 when he had said he was going to raise
one million dollars.
First rule of politics:
do not lie about things that can be proven with public records.
Second rule of politics:
do not lie about things that can be proven with public records.
Third rule of politics:
if a woman named Monica Lewinsky ever offers …. Oh well, you know the rest.
Wallace violated the
first two rules and then he added icing to the cake by thinking that we’re all
Monica.
The FEC filings were due today. David Wallace did not raise
$200,000.
David
Wallace only raised $173,000 and had to make a personal loan to the campaign
of $30,000 to make up the difference. Riiiiing. Riiiiiing. David, it’s for
you, Tom DeLay is calling – he wants his gall back.
To spice things up a little,
Wallace also proudly included a large campaign contribution from Halliburton,
everybody’s favorite corporation right now. No, I’m not kidding. Go look for
yourself.
As my friend Alfredo says, Wallace has managed to be both a dweeb
and an idiot in one single filing period.
Way to go, David. I jest love yew, Darlin’.
And, in case you're wondering, Robert Talton filed his report too--he reported
$0. Seriously . . . his report says $0.
I dunno, he says he bought cookies.
When we arrived,
volunteers handed us Official David Wallace Water Bottles. But as I walk
around the corner, I am greeted by a long table with a Sekula-Gibbs banner and
box after box of pizza. I began to wonder if they were running for congress or
student council president. As the meeting began, Chair Gary Gillen thanked
Wallace and Gibbs for providing refreshments. Suddenly, in a moment of truly
wacky surrealism, Robert Talton leaps to his feet, exclaiming "I brought
cookies!"
Sekula-Gibbs has raised $42K with $10 coming from her fellow dermatologists' and
AMA PAC.
And to think that some of you doubted it would ever get more entertaining that
Tom DeLay. Sweetie, we have back-up players for the back-up players among
the wacko right Republicans around here.
UPDATE: I wish to apologize to
Crazy
Robert Talton. He paid for the cookies fair and square. He
loaned his campaign $800 out of his own personal funds and spent $50.
That's all the money he's got. I'm certain that was cookie money. In
way of an apology to Crazy Bob Talton, I offer a real live untouched photo of
him at his State Legislating job.
Remember how your mother told you not to make ugly faces because one day, sure
as rain, your face will stick that way? Crazy Robert Talton didn't listen
to his mother.
July 14
- Okay, so the lawyers for the Texas Republican Party went to federal
court today to argue that
Tom DeLay and a handful of local political hacks have the Constitutional
right to scam the voters one last time - for old times sake, I guess.
Texas GOP Chairman Tina Benkiser was following proper regulations as part of
the state’s constitutional exercise of authority under its election code when
she declared Tom DeLay ineligible to run on the ballot for Congress,
Benkiser’s attorneys say in a brief filed Friday.
The ruling from Republican appointee Judge Sam Sparks went by a strict
interpretation of the Constitution. Republicans can talk the talk, but oh
boy when it comes to walkin'-time, they go judge shopping.
I am told that the
selection of the 3 judge panel who will hear the arguments is done by drawing
lots, so if you hear the Republicans shouting Bingo! you'll know that Priscilla
Owens is one of the judges.
Owens will use this case
to find that Republicans can do whatever they want to, all abortions in Texas
are illegal and punishable by the death penalty because we love life dammit, and
homosexuals have to go to hell because it's the law.
She will also interpret
this case to mandate that prayer in school is mandatory, withdrawal from the
United Nations can't happen fast enough, and that chili cannot be the official
dish of Texas because way too many people drink beer with chili.
Also, Owens will not
allow oral arguments before the court because it has, like, you know, the word
"oral" in it.
July 13
- Ralph Reed, of The Christian Coalition fame, wanted to get a business deal
going with God. Here's how it would go --- Ralph and Jack Abramoff would
take out life insurance policies on old Black people. According to the
plan, God would then take the old Black people home so that Jack and Ralph would
get rich off the insurance because God really, really wants Jack and Ralph to
get rich. In return, old Black people would get to die.
Okay, so you think I'm
making this up?
I'm not that creative.
According to Talking
Points Memo, who has never lied to me before, GQ blows the trumpet on Reed
this month.
In July of 2003, Abramoff and
Reed considered launching something called the Black Churches Insurance
Program.
We know how this scheme would have gone, because Abramoff pitched something
similar to a cash-strapped Texas tribe, the Tigua. Basically, since the tribe
couldn't pay Abramoff, he offered to arrange "a life-insurance policy for
every Tigua 75 or older." When those elders died, the death benefits would have
gone to Abramoff through one of his non-profits. The Tigua didn't take
Abramoff up on the offer, but it was too good of an idea to let go.
So Abramoff
apparently thought black churches were a good target. This would have been the
same thing, according to GQ's Sean Flynn, except that it was
African-Americans. Or as "a former associate of Reed's"
told GQ, "Yeah... it sounds like Jack approached Reed about mortgaging old
black people."
I'll tell ya - Republicans have this greed thing down pat. I wonder how
many of them have a life insurance policy on me?
July 13
- Okay, Kiddos, it's that time of year again when I spend all my money
buying campaign finance reports because our County Commissioners will not put
them online for everybody to see. Lookie here at our county
website. For Pete's Sake, they have information about gardening on there,
but zilch about who is buying and paying for our politicians. If I want to
know how to grow petunias, I don't go to the county website. However, if I
want to know about .... oh, let's say .... government, I'd like some information
on that site.
To see the campaign
finance reports you have to go to County Mart (it used to be Wal Mart, but the
county bought it and made it uglier) during regular business hours and look at
them. So, if you have a job, you're out of luck and the loop. Or, you can buy
them for 10 cents a page and bring them home, which is what I do. I used
to be rich until I started this hobby.
Just out of abject
hacked-off anger, I post the County Commissioners reports on my website so
everybody can see them. I am in lucky possession of every one they have
ever filed, even though the election office is under order of Commissioner's
Court to destroy them after two years. Heck, the statute of limitation on
theft is longer than that!
The reports are due next
Monday. Because our District Attorney does not believe that law applies to
Republicans, filing them is pretty much optional around here. And lying on
them is almost required.
So, the bottom line is
that I will be cranky on Tuesday and Wednesday of next week because it takes me
that long to get them all scanned and put into PDF format. However, County
Commissioners will be cranky on Thursday and Friday and that alone makes it all
worthwhile.
July 12
- If you need a grin today, ponder of this fact -- my Texas friend Carol who
got transplanted in Vermont just sent me webpage on
Bernie Sanders website. Honey,
everytime Tom DeLay hints he's going to run again, Tom doesn't raise any money,
but Democrats and outspoken Independents all across the nation do. Keep
yapping, Tom!
Former Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-Texas) wants to take an
expensive piece of history with him into retirement.
DeLay is seeking the House Administration
Committee’s approval to buy a George Washington desk, a 35-year-old replica of
the one Washington used while president when the capital was New York City.
ALERT:
A little extra treat for DeLay Wannabe, David Wallace. Go check Earl's
poll at Email From Hell this week. Scroll down
to today's date. (See promise in the post below.) Earl did my David Wallace poll
for me so I can go play this evening.
July 11
- The long awaited picture of the Shelley Sekula Gibbs point-woman at the
GOP "Exercise in Futility But At Least Wallace Won The Straw Poll" event, is
posted.
Go here,
and look at Myth #4.
With Tom DeLay back in
the race with both feet and faces, I'm kinda half-heartedly feeling sorry for
Sugar Land Mayor David Wallace. I mean, how can GOP party chair Gary
Gillen rig polls to inflate Wallace's ego now that Tom DeLay's ego-sucking
machine is plugged in again.
So, to keep Wallace from
having to stand in Town Center begging people to tell him that he's pretty and
very nice, we will do a poll here this week to inflate Davis Wallace's ego.
I haven't figured out the details yet, but the poll will be rigged to insure
that Wallace wins. Stay tuned.
(Hey, I know it's a
crappy job, but somebody's gotta do it. If somebody doesn't blow smoke up
Wallace's patootie at least once a week, he shrinks to the size of horned toad.
We can't be having that.)
July 10
- Please, if you do nothing else today,
send the President an email asking
him NOT to veto the DeGette Stem Cell Research Bill, a bi-partisan bill
passed by the Senate and Congress. It is important that we at least be heard.
This decision is far
to important for Karl Rove to be making. Trust me, if Halliburton did
stem cell research, we'd darned sure get it.
I don't know about you,
but I resent the hell out of being lectured about the sanctity of life from Karl
Rove, a man who was part of sending our troops into battle with proper helmets
or vests.
You know, it's been a
loooong time since our Congress did anything bi-partisan. And I'll be
darned, Bush is going to use his first veto on it.
July 10
- A friend of mine just suggested, "Of course DeLay wants back in the race!
How else will he pay all those legal bills?"
July 10
- The writ twits among us will enjoy
the continuing debate
on what will happen next in the DeLay Saga.
However, I can tell you
what will happen because I've watched DeLay for 20 years. His ego needs
feeding. He will re-enter the race, claim that Jesus is his co-pilot, tell
a few more dirty jokes in front of his daughter, make a secret trip to the
Marianas Islands where he and Jack stashed some cash money in a golf bag in
locker # 767 at the Marianas Golf Course, spend the money on negative teevee
ads, get borned again again and swear he had nothing to do with the teevee ads,
and then blame a secret cult of Scientologist for his electorial defeat.
Hey, it's a plan.
Which is one plan better than the Republicans have.
And in other crazzzy news today, the Secretary of State has just ruled that
Richard "Kinky" Friedman can have "Kinky" on the ballot, but Carole Keeton
Strayhorn Rylander Cougar Mellancamp cannot have "Grandma" on the ballot.
I love this state.
Damn, I love this state.
July 8 -
Oh no, you're not going to believe this. The "upscale" folks are standing
by their man,
Tom "Cut 'n Run" DeLay.
In response to Delay’s name being on the ballot from the primaries, he said
the primary is not an election, it’s a nominating process: “and for this guy
to say that he can’t tell where I’m going to be on Nov. 7th, therefore I am
forced to be on the ballot, and the Democrats are just loving it.” Then Delay
brought down the house with: “Well, I may give them just exactly what they
want.”
The primary is not an election? Uh, really? Okay,
y'all fess-up. How drunk was Tom?
Come on, Chicken Tom, be
serious. This isn't about Democrats. Give the Republicans what they
want and what they voted for -- YOU on the ballot. That's all the judge
did --- enforced the will of the people from being denied by a handful of
political party hacks.
I wonder what flavor the
kool-aide was at Tom's Tribute, because these folks sure did drink a lot of it.
July 7 -
Harvey Kronberg (subscription only) is reporting that at his "Tribute" today,
Tom DeLay suggested that he may actively campaign for the Congressional seat.
DELAY FUELS SPECULATION HE MIGHT ACTIVELY RUN
If he runs and wins, he could then resign and Governor
would call special election
A Houston
television station reporting today on a local luncheon speech given by
private citizen Tom DeLay suggests he might actively run for CD22. If
he were to win, he could then resign and Governor Perry could call a
special election.
After the speech, DeLay said he had not formally announced anything, "
“Well, I didn’t annouce that. We’re going to have to wait and see what the Fifth Circuit Court does with the appeal.”
July 7 -
Awwwwww, that's so sweet. County Commissioner Andy "Mr. Nookie's"
Meyers got some national attention.
And, he's whining.
It seems like if you finally get some national attention, you'd think of
something smart to say.
To think that day before
yesterday Andy thought Tom was better than recess in heaven. He claimed
that he and Tom were closer than paint and wall. It's odd what the
Constitution can do to a friendship ----
“If Tom’s gonna be on the ballot, he’s gonna be on the
ballot,"
"We’re kinda stuck," he concluded. "It’s hard to get up and
say, 'vote for me, but, hey I might not be the candidate.' To me it doesn’t
make any sense.”
Thanks to Deb for bringing this to our attention. Otherwise, we would have
missed Andy's intellectual debut into big time national journalism.
July 6
- It appears that GOP Fort Bend Party Chairman Gary Gillen's talking point
is that
"it's not fair" said in that real whiny voice teenagers use. Gillen
says it's not fair that the District 22 voters don't get a choice.
Who is Gillen kidding?
That's exactly what Judge Sparks said -- the voters of District 22 should get
the choice of the candidates they elected in the primary, and those candidates
are Tom DeLay and Nick Lampson. Look Gillen, you fool, the Judge made it
so that
a small select group of political hacks can't "select" who they want for
their Congressman. That's not fair.
Gillen's other point is
that President Bush needs a representative from this district to support our
President while he's under attack and there's a war on terror. Oh yeah?
Tell that to Tom DeLay. Tom DeLay cut and ran. We now have taxation
without representation thanks to Tom DeLay and Republican hacks who stood silent
even when they knew DeLay was going to withdraw after the primary.
Guys, it's hard to be
funny when somebody is so stoopid.
July 6
- I just heard on KTRH radio that Tom sent out his daughter to blame Judge
Sam Sparks for his ruling, claiming that "the voters are the ones hurt by
Spark's ill-advised ruling."
I could not make that up.
Folks, if anyone ever
wondered why the Democrats wanted Tom DeLay on the ballot, this should settle
it. Tom DeLay purposefully lied to the voters about his intentions prior
to the primary, cut and ran when he knew he was going to be beat, and left us
without representation rather than serve out his term. And, he's blaming
someone else?
That's gall, Friends.
July 6 -
In case you don't have time to read the entire ruling,
here's my personal favorite part ----
“Political
acumen, strategy, and manufactured evidence, even combined with sound policy
in mind, cannot override the Constitution. The evidence presented in this case provides no basis for Benkiser’s
declaration that Tom DeLay was not eligible to remain the nominee of the
republican Party under state or federal law… there is no evidence that DeLay will still
be living in Virginia tomorrow, let alone on November 7, 2006,
the only day that matters under the Qualification Clause of the United States
Constitution. DeLay himself testified that he does not know what will happen
with his life in November, stating only that he plans to continue living in
Virginia ‘indefinitely.’
“The Constitution ‘nullifies sophisticated
as well as simple-minded modes’ of infringing on constitutional protections.’
U.S. Term Limits, Inc v Thornton, 514 U.S. 779, 829 (1995)(quoting Lane v
Wilson, 307 U.S. 268,275 (1939))…
DeLay was chosen as the Republican
nominee by the voters in the Republican primary, and he is still eligible to
be the party’s nominee. He may, of course, withdraw as is his
right, but neither political parties, state legislatures, secretaries of
state, nor the federal courts may rewrite the United States Constitution.”
I'm just giving you this to whet your appetite for more. Try to read it
all; it's an excellent document with sound and persuasive arguments to defend
the Constitution.
A Republican judge threw the
Republicans out of court, saying that we will not have a musical chairs election
system in America, where a poorly polling candidate can just move to his summer
home for a week or two and let local party hacks replace him on the ballot.
For you out of
towners, that's Tom DeLay and David Wallace with a friend. Tom's pointing
and blaming finger is permanently frozen that way from overuse.
In a charming and delightful twist
of fate, Republicans must now "Judge Shop" for an "Activist Judge" to get their
way. I mean, even Republicans will have to admit that's funny.
The rest of us will be at
the
Democratic Response to Tom DeLay's Monkey Business. See ya there!
ADDED: I just got an interesting
question from a customer. I wonder if
Leonard Cash
and
Chris Homan, founders of Fight Club, will be back to run DeLay's campaign?
July 6 -
Okay, Guys, if you want some reality-based reporting from the Fort Bend
Republican party meeting last night, I've got a treat for you.
For straight reporting,
you gotta go with
Fort Bend Now. They even got a copy of Terese Raia's questionnaire
with the witch-slap to Sugar Land Mayor David "Just Like Tom" Wallace.
For a You-Are-There
report,
Muse can't be beat.
And for a
You-Are-There-And-You-See-Silly-People,
View from 22 has it all, and promises pictures later today.
And lastly, from a friend
who was there and doesn't blog: GOP Party Chair Gary Gillen stumbled all over
himself to try to force Wallace on everyone. The straw poll taken last night
was, again, worthless, and a mess of precinct chairs are hoppin' mad this
morning.
Apparently a lot of
precinct chairs refused to vote in the straw poll. And, it most certainly
IS hard to explain how Raia, who openly looks down her nose at Wallace, won by a
2 to1 margin, but then Wallace won the straw poll? With the same people
voting? Fishy, huh?
July 5 -
Breaking News 8:00 p.m. - by a vote of 19 to 37, Terese Raia, the Mother of
all far rightwing Christian Coalition Hoochy-Koochy Obsessed Meanies was named
by Fort Bend Republicans as their county representative to the Gang of Four who
will name the DeLay second stringer.
David Wallace won the
straw poll among the precinct chairs with 20 votes. Howard pulled 13;
Meyers got 7; Turner got 1; Sekula-Gibbs got 2; and Campbell got 1. Talton
got none, even though he brought cookies. Wallace brought bottled water
with his name on it.
There's more, but it'll
have to wait until tomorrow.
July 5 -
There's
a new blogger in town doing an excellent job, especially with this DeLay
Timeline. Scamper on over there and check it out. You'll probably
want to stay a while.
And just for fun, watch
Nick Lampson's
two new commercials and contract them with the nastiness of Davis Wallace's
mailout! (By the way, the "Grandma" in the ad really lives in Sugar Land
and is a good friend of the ladies at the beauty shop.)
July 5 -
Here's what I'm thinking. Stay with me here, because this takes a
little explaining and I'm not famous for a "little" anything. It takes me
four hours to explain a 90 minute movie.
We're all still waiting
on Judge Sparks to make his ruling on the DeLay withdrawal.
As I've said before
----
Judge Sparks can make one of three rulings:
(1) DeLay moved to another state, becoming ineligible to run, and the GOP can
replace him on the November ballot, (2) DeLay's move was a sham, so he must
stay on the ballot, or (3) DeLay's move was a sham and DeLay withdrew his name
from the ballot so there will be no Republican name on the November ballot.
The Republicans want (1). The Democrats want (2). It appears that
Judge Sparks may be leaning to (3).
Okay, so the local GOP meets tonight to vote on who will be their representative
to the group that picks a second-stringer to replace Tom DeLay. It's not
going to be nice. We don't have nice Republicans here. We have the
nastiest bunch of rightwing lunatics who will beat you within a half inch of
your life with their Bible if you don't kiss their hineys. Couple that
with representatives from the Bully Brigade and those from the Good Ole Boys and
I will almost bet you that there will be some minor bloodshed in the selection
process.
Myself, I'm looking
forward to it like Christmas.
So, Judge Sparks asked
for written case law from the lawyers last Friday. I figure it took him at
least all day Monday to read the law and yawn and stretch and get some coffee
and read some more law and get out his rhyming dictionary and giggle a little
about how silly Tom looked on the witness stand and read and yawn some more.
Okay, so yesterday was a
holiday and if you're celebrating America you sure don't want to be thinking
about Tom DeLay. Holding those two thoughts in your mind at once can cause
your brain to splinter. No, really.
So today I figure Sparks
will write his opinion and have his clerk type it up. That takes a least a
day. Well, why wouldn't it? I mean, if you're deciding whether or
not the entire United States of America can play musical congressional
candidates for all eternity, I'd hope you'd ponder on it for a day looking for
the right words.
So, I figure that maybe,
just maybe, because I was real nice to my granny and I always voted even when
there weren't any candidates worth a damn, the scheduling gods may shine on me
today. Wouldn't it be cool if the local GOP ate each other alive tonight
and then Sparks ruled #2 or #3 tomorrow?
I mean, that would be
DeLayed justice if I ever saw it.
It could happen.
No, really.
July 4
- Hot blastin' dog on a stick! What's more fun than watching fireworks
on the 4th of July? Why, watching Sugar Land Mayor Tom DeLay Wannabe David
Wallace spend money like a drunken sailor on leave. Well, I have to admit
that spending money he
doesn't have is the new proof of Republican credentials. Yesterday, courtesy of
the United States Postal Service and a very extravagant David Wallace, I got two
- not one, but two - slick mailers from David Wallace. They are different
from each other, but they are both delightfully charming maniacal explosions of
ego. They both arrived (together!) two days before the Fort Bend GOP meets
to select their selector. That means he paid for two different mailers to
everybody in the county to get one vote. No, really. At no small trouble, I
have reproduced them for you in vivid living color just in case you weren't as
lucky as me and got two on the same damn day! The first one - well, I
guess it's the first one, it's hard to tell because they arrived together - says
that Ronald Reagan would vote for David Wallace. I don't know if there
were séances or mediums involved in the making of that statement, but the large
picture of Reagan with Davis Wallace's name surely violates
Section 42.08 of
the Texas Penal Code, which is "Abuse of a Corpse". I know Nancy Reagan
wouldn't vote for David because David is vehemently anti stem cell research.
I mean, he foams at the mouth about it. Sends out letters about about how
much he hates it. I have copies. I do. But even if Ronald Regan
would vote for David Wallace, Terese Raia and Kathy Haigler ain't snappin' their
garters in agreement, Honey. So, here ya go - all
fancy in PDF format - is the first David Wallace mailer. Click on either
picture for the full-sized PDF.
And the second mailer, of course, is a negative attack ad, with words like
"crush" and "beat back" to make Wallace seem more manly than he looks. All
is does, of course, is remind people that
local Republicans really do beat up people.
It also says that "David
Wallace is Nick Lampson's worst Nightmare." Oh, save that thought.
That's years worth of fodder.
Here ya go, this one goes
sideways.
And you people wondered what I was going to do once Tom DeLay left. David
Wallace is just Tom DeLay with fewer IQ points and more ego. I love him.
I do.
And just in case some of
you people from foreign states are wondering why I'm not picking on the other
Republican Pageant entries for their mailers, it's because they don't have any.
There's not even a decision on whether or not DeLay can be replaced on the
ballot.
June 29
- I got an email just a few minutes ago from Ken, a regular customer
here at the shop.
Susan -
Here's a picture taken with my cell phone today showing the sign outside your
Representative's office in the Cannon House Office Building.
Ken
Pitiful, isn't it? We need to Photoshop that sucker with improvements
before people start walking by and spitting on it just out of habit.
I'll even offer a prize
for the best Photoshop of the door picture. The winner will get a free
hamburger and beer at the
Oh-No-Not-DeLay party at Beck's Prime on the evening of the Chamber of
Commerce's Tribute to Tom DeLay. (Look, I wanted to name the event
"Tribute, My Ass!" but cooler heads prevailed.)
Some
works.
So, 
Eberle!
Tom would have been wrong to make any judgments based on that one visit. As one
prominent farmer told me, “I don’t like him and always have.” 
