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This is email from
June 1 - 15
6/1
Hey Susan,
WTH is up with those Texas
Rethugs..Bobby Eberle!!!! Jeez I hope he wins too..So
what is his degree in (I see he calls himself Dr)? And
did you notice how short he is..even shorter than The
Worst President Ever. This could be just hilarious. I
saw no mention of Talon on his website..but I couldn't
finish reading the whole thing ..I was laughing too
hard. Maybe the GOP can raise money by running a stable
of male hookers.
Kathy
NOTE FROM
JUANITA: I think his degree is in Prissology.
But, I could be wrong.
Also, we do not make fun
of people's heights at The World's Most Dangerous Beauty
Salon, Inc. That is not proper behavior for a Texas
lady. We only make fun of their big butts.
REPLY FROM
KATHY:
Oh sorry my mistake, what I meant to say was...... isn't
his fat butt awfully close to the ground??
6/2
Now they
can truly wear their religion on their sleeves...
Fran
6/2 Hold on!!!! I missed something. Those
W stickers in the SUV window don't automatically give you
the right of way? I thought that was the law in
Sugar Land. If you have a Fort Bend Baptist Academy
bumper sticker, you get to park free anywhere in the
county, no? Thud
6/5
Hey Susan,
So sad about Bobby Eberle..that could have been the gift
that keeps on giving.
Did you happen to read this article in the Dallas
Morning News? I found it after I read about the
convention. Do you suppose these folks are Repugs?
Good thing Tommy didn't belong to this church..those
people would be spending millions writing letters.
Kathy
6/6
You might get a good laugh out of these ---
The Number of the Beast
According to the Bible book of Revelation (or
Apocalypse) the Number of the Beast is "666."
Now, for the first time ever, we present The *Other*
Numbers of the Beast.
660 ---- Approximate number of the Beast
DCLXVI ---- Roman numeral of the Beast
666.0000 ---- Number of the High Precision Beast
0.666 ---- Number of the Millibeast
/ 666 ---- Beast Common Denominator
(-666) ^ («) ---- Imaginary number of the Beast
6.66 e3 ---- Floating point Beast
1010011010 ---- Binary of the Beast
6, uh... what was that number again? ---- Number of
the Blonde Beast
1-666 ---- Area code of the Beast
00666 ---- Zip code of the Beast
666 mph ---- The speed limit of the Beast
$665.95 ---- Retail price of the Beast
$699.25 ---- Price of the Beast plus 5% state sales
tax
$769.95 ---- Price of the Beast with all accessories
and replacement soul
$656.66 ---- Walmart price of the Beast
$646.66 ---- Next week's Walmart price of the Beast
Phillips 666 ---- Gasoline of the Beast
Route 666 ---- Way of the Beast
666 F ---- Oven temperature for roast Beast
666k ---- Retirement plan of the Beast
666 mg ---- Recommended Minimum Daily Requirement of
Beast
6.66 % ---- 5 year CD interest rate at First Beast of
Hell National Bank, $666 minimum deposit.
$666/hr ---- Beast's lawyer's billing rate
Lotus 6-6-6 ---- Spreadsheet of the Beast
Word 6.66 ---- Word Processor of the Beast
i66686 ---- CPU of the Beast
666i ---- BMW of the Beast
DSM-666 (revised) ---- Diagnostic and Statistical
Manual of the Beast
1232 Octal, Apt. 29A ---- Beast's hexed address
(programmers' joke)
668 ---- Next-door neighbor of the Beast
333 ---- The semi-beast
665.9997856 ---- The Number of the Beast on a Pentium
Mike
6/7
Juanita,
Just received these links from my California GOP
cousins and had to pass them on. George has got to
get a grip on this. Enna
6/7
Concerning where Tom's "papers" will go ---
The SPCA may want them
. SweetGal
6/7
I came across the following today on CNN.com
OMAHA, Nebraska (AP) - "President Bush stressed the need
for immigrants to learn American values and culture if
they are to become citizens."
and wonder just what "values and culture" Bush is
pushing. Would that be Enronian "values"? DeLay-like
"culture"? The Cheney/Halliburtonesque "American value"
($)?
Later in the article, "Bush said upon his return to
Washington, he would sign an executive order creating a
task force that will expand English."
Bush doesn't even speak proper American/English and he
had the best of the best US schooling. And his task
force. I hope they are nothing like the ones that
overhauled education (no child left behind, my behind!)
or FEMA or energy deregulation, et al
Your thoughts?
Ami
NOTE FROM JUANITA: I'm
pondering on this for an article. You got me
going!
6/7
RE: Ann Coulter
Never listen to any woman who has a
visible Adam's apple!!! Under no circumstances are any
of them in possession of the milk of human kindness.
This is an observation and truth learned by me in my
77 years of living and observing and I find it serves me
well when assessing an individual who is constantly
mouthing off garbage.
Marie
6/9
I'm a poor displaced Texas redneck living in Ireland
and I've hated Tom DeLay ever since he quit killing
roaches and became one. I've got to say your blog is one
of the funniest and best I've seen. Go go go go go!
Kurt Tidmore
6/9
Just found your website. I'm in love with you.
Gary
6/9
Hi, saw your website, linking to the story about the
TRO re Delay.
You are not the only district in America without a
Congressman. NJ-13 is the other, where Menendez was
appointed to the Senate. No special election was held
to fill his seat which will be empty until January.
Albio Sires, the Mayor of West New York, NJ, was
nominated as the Dem to run for the seat in November
(a sureshot in a heavily Dem district), but no one
presently holds the seat.
Just thought you’d like to know.
Administrator
6/9
Juanitahoney,
It's a good thing that Ms. Tina is only the acting sorta
under chair sitter. JHWH a.k.a. God a.k.a. You Know Who
is the real chairman of the Texas Republican Party Party
Party Hearty Dudes and Dudettes and I doubt that any
judge with or without a TRO is going to be able to stand
in the road and hinder progress when there's a higher
authority at the other end.
Best Always and a very special Happy Tom's Resignation
Day to you.
Don
6/9
Happy Dumped DeLay Day, Juanita!
Joel
6/9
In
Dante's Divine Comedy, as he descends in to hell, at the
7th level, just below murders in the 6th
level, you will find hypocrites and flatters who must
spend eternity swimming in excrement up to their necks.
Going to be crowded with Republicans.
Gary
h.
6/9
Miss Juanita -
Sugar Land's #1 Pinhead, aka Tom DeLay,
said this in his parting shot, just before the House
door hit him in the behind:
"You show me a nation without
partisanship, and I'll show you a tyranny," Mr.
DeLay said, adding, "It is not the principled
partisan, however obnoxious he may seem to his
opponents, who degrades our public debate, but the
preening, self-styled statesman who elevates
compromise to a first principle."
Goes to show just how
skewed his view is. Why have statesmanship and
compromise for the entire good when it's ultimately
the party (read special/personal interests) that's
most important. What a greedy somebody!
Chris in FL
6/12
oh my goodness.....Tassels is the coolest name ever!!
I may run down to the courthouse and change my name
today! I am a little concerned, do you need any
special talent to get that name? I want to make sure
I qualify.
Fingers crossed,
boring ole Cheryl
6/13
If Keeton-Strayhorn-Jolie-Pitt had one once
of brain muscle, she'd insist on being listed on the
ballot as "Oprah". Lots of votes guaranteed, then.
Ellen
6/15
Dear Juanita,
8,000 phone calls from Tom DeLay to the voters of
Caliginia (or was it
Virgifornia?) is instructive to voters everywhere.
It
shows
how
little Mr.
DeLay and his staffers really care.
I
do not for a minute believe that Mr. DeLay
et
al are
so
ignorant of geography that they can’t distinguish
between Virginia and California.
They just didn’t care enough to do it rightly.
(Maybe they should have called in Bud Adams – “He
knows what to do and do it right” the poster read.)
Perhaps I have the wrong take on this.
DeLay & Co. are more than willing to take money from
anywhere in the world, and to spend it most
advantageously anywhere in the world, regardless of
how the law reads about lobbyists and
out-of-state contributions and what you can do with
them. Perhaps he feels that the time is right to apply the
same principle to votes: take
‘em
from anywhere and distribute them were they are most
needed.
After all, any votes over 50%+1 are wasted votes.
Or
in this case, Tom’s pet frog lost so abysmally that
ALL of
those votes were wasted
(and, in the backrooms, they knew that they would be
wasted regardless of what they might say publicly).
Why
not truck
these
wasted votes on over to some District where the poor
goon is running at, say, 45%
and
these excess
votes can kick him/her over the top.
They just had an election
over in California’s 50th
District to replace Cunningham.
Now,
I’m
pretty sure that I know where California is. After
all, I can hit it on the first try
3 out of 4 times when I drive there.
But
I did have to look it up to see where California’s
Congressional District 50 is.
Everyone knew that that race was going to be close
-
maybe
Tom’s mistake is not that
he
meant Virginia instead of California, but that he
meant
southern
California instead of
northern
California.
Perhaps
Tom wanted to add some Virginia-style votes into the mix, as
absentee ballots that they can force in with a
well-worded lawsuit.
Nah, he wouldn’t do that, would he?
Steve
When I started to write this,
I
thought that
I
was being facetious.
But as
it
developed, I can
think of many occasions where the
politicos would like the idea of everyone being
elected
‘at-large’,
Federalism and their Oath of Office be d__ned.
I’m
sure Tom has some staffer whose job is to troll the
blogs (and if Ms. Juanita is kind enough to post
this and you are that person and you are reading
this – ‘Hi there’); I hope I have not given them any
ideas.
S.
6/15 re:
June 14th
Susan,
Can they get any stupider..man..why didn't
Ellmore call up "Duke", Scooter, Jack, and the
guy who pulled the Target Scam while he was at
it?
Kathy
6/15
Juanita, If you listen
carefully, he really said, "Northern Marianas."
That's the last government he worked for.
Ellen
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